adventures in awkward

Random-As-Shit Thoughts on a Thursday

1. My dad always told me if you were able, you should always do things on your own. None of that hiring-other-people crap to paint a wall. You better strap on some raggedy old overalls, get your god damn paintbrush  and get to work. Never mind the fact that you’re trapped in a pressure cooker while the smell paint thinner and toxic fumes begin to amass a lethal attack on your precious brain cells. (Who needed those extra thousand cells anyway?) Well, I’m not usually like that. Honestly, I’m lazy as hell. If I can pay someone to screw a light bulb in for me, I’m gonna do it. (Yes, even a light bulb.)

Anyway, I decided to heed my dad’s advice and do something I’ve never done before. Cut my own hair.  I mean, why pay someone to cut my hair when there’s hundreds of videos on YouTube promising me I can do it beautifully on my own with a few easy steps? WHY? Why spend my $30 when I can step into my bathroom and walk out looking like a celebrity? It just makes no sense.

Ladies, listen to me and listen to me closely. Never.cut.your.own.hair. Okay? OKAY? Those bitches on YouTube are lying.

2. I’m in the process of kind of “rebranding” (for lack of a better word) my blog. I’ll be changing the look, theme, colors, everything. It will still be humor-based, but with some other things added in. I love writing random humor stories, but I’ve been struggling to find things to write about. Not sure if I’m just getting old and boring or what’s going on. While humor stories will still be the main focus, I’ll be adding in other things that I’m interested in as well. This whole undertaking has been quite anxiety-inducing, so bear with me.

adventures in awkward

Random-As-Shit Wednesday Thoughts

I like to think I know you guys pretty well, so I’m pretty sure you are all plagued with worry as you fight sleepless nights, eat your feelings, and clutch your kids close while they cry into your shoulder and rub globs of snot onto your prized, limited edition Harry Potter t shirt. But I am here to comfort you with an official report: our cars haven’t been vandalized since my last post. (You thought I was talking about Trump or something equally scary, right?) After spending hundreds of dollars on a home security system and getting the car fixed by someone I was confident wouldn’t ruin it, I figured it wouldn’t happen again. That’s just how life works around here. Shit only happens when you aren’t expecting it. So, go on! Move on with your life! Nothing to report here.

(A pretty mountain river from one of our hikes)

About two weeks ago Alex and I went to the mountains for five days. I’m not going to lie… we did a terrible job planning our trip and solely picked the town because there was a casino and resort there. Great for nighttime, but during the day there was absolutely nothing to do besides outdoorsy stuff. You know, like hiking, biking, rock climbing, fishing, and other things you healthy, active people want to do in the mountains. This is not the case for us. We like our vacations to be lazy, filled with plenty of naps, alcohol, and so much food the thought of walking up a flight of stairs sends us into a panic over the idea of impending crampy doom. The mountains were beautiful though, so we managed to go out daily to try and learn how to do, uh… fitness. Next week’s beach trip is slated to be more our style.

I’m starting a new venture along with blogging (which I really need to do more of,) and writing my novel — Animation. I recently purchased a Wacom drawing tablet and Adobe Animate, and hopefully with hours and weeks of practice and YouTube tutorials (which are really informative, actually.) I’ll actually be able to draw my own mini animation series. It will be a silly/humorous show based off of Benny the Sheep. (The drawing in my blog header.) It’s been really hard to master, but I’m getting better every day and I’m excited to work on the episodes.

(Here’s the first drawing of Chester, who will be one of Benny’s friends.)

tuesday trivia

Fun Fact: If you lick someone’s elbow while they aren’t paying attention, they won’t feel it

elbowlicking

Get those mouths ready, friends! Time to go put our tongues on some weenises!

Have any of you tried this before?  Apparently there’s some YouTubers who film themselves doing this to random schmucks as some sort of game. Are you brave enough to walk up and put your tongue on a random person and risk being caught? Because that wouldn’t be awkward or anything…

( In case you didn’t know – ‘weenis’ is the term for the flap of skin on your elbow)

Watch. Be disturbed. Get out there and lick some shit.

cat lady chronicles, giveaways

Ever find a channel on YouTube and become completely consumed watching it? Your coffee gets cold, you forget to eat breakfast, and you’re two hours late for your run, but, you don’t even care. In this moment, that crap just doesn’t matter anymore. You’re hooked. All in. Obsessed. You’re queuing up your emails and spam posting to social media. You’d be doing a disservice if you don’t tell everyone you know that they must. watch. this. now. This shit is important.

This happened to me this morning when I found ‘Simon’s Cat’ on YouTube. I’m probably embarrassing myself by saying this, considering it’s been around for years, with millions of views, books, and TV commercials. But, I just found it and I’m in love. (The video is short, I promise! If you like cats or have them, you’ll enjoy it)

Also, today is Sunday. Woo. Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway drawing. It was far more than I expected, and y’all are awesome. There can only be one winner, though. And the person’s name who was randomly drawn this time:

catcraftsmo who has an awesome blog here: Why Cats Rule The World Hurray! (I will be emailing you later today)

rambles

I love what the internet has become. Mainly because I don’t have to do jack to learn anything new except pull up Google or find a how-to video on YouTube. Lazy people, unite! You can seriously find YouTube videos on doing anything. I’ve watched them for car repairs, yoga sequences, and most recently for some better makeup tips. There are hundreds of them on there. After clicking through a bunch of them, I realized most of these girls are just that — girls. Some 15… some 17. Should I be impressed? Embarrassed? Angry that I suck that much at applying makeup? It was rough.

A 28 year old married woman… getting makeup advice from a 15 year old high school freshman. I’m pretty mortified. Even worse, I tried her tips today and got several compliments… It’s not every day you’re forced to admit a 15 year old is more knowledgeable than you at something. For shame.

Time to go back to the rock I’ve been living under.