Am I the only one that gets seriously annoyed when they are corrected by random people online? I’m talking about the grammar police in all their unholy glory. Here in the “blogiverse,” (that word chaps my ass a little) it seems like everyone and their mother has an English degree and likes to shove it in the face of unsuspecting writers when they spot a mistake. What’s with that? Don’t you guys have something better to do with your time? Why leave a random comment that has nothing to do with a blog post solely to correct someone you don’t know? Am I missing something here?
Usually the amazing lessons from the self-appointed grammar police begin like:
“I think you meant to say…”
“Not to be rude, but…”
“My mom thinks I’m special and smart, it would be a shame not to share my knowledge…”
“I won my 8th grade spelling bee, so I’ve got the credentials to correct you…”
“I don’t get enough attention in real life, so I feel the need to make strangers feel belittled.”
News flash: nobody likes a know-it-all. You guys really are the bursting ass pimples of the internet.
Also, I get annoyed by terrible spelling too, so I’m not completely exempt in all of this. It’s the people that go out of their way to correct it is what drives me nuts. It always seems like people do it just to pat themselves on the back for being smart.
1. I have a serious dislike for travel bloggers. They remind me of the people on Facebook who are constantly posting pictures of the things they do in their lives that make them seem so much more interesting and better than the ordinary schmoes like myself. “Here’s a photo of this quaint little cafe along the Rue de la Snootyin Paris. Everything is perfect here – even the way the sunlight reflects off my latte makes my tits look perkier!” It drives me insane. Especially the young ones. How in the world can young 20-year-olds afford to travel the world on a consistent basis and blog about it? HOW? Unless you’re one of ten people at that age that actually gets paid to do it. It makes no sense to me. Shouldn’t you people be working? Or in school? Or, you know, busy being poor? My 20’s sucked compared to them. (Also, I’m willing to admit this is 98% fueled by jealousy. I wish I had the means to constantly travel around further than my grocery store on a daily basis. I also love looking/reading about other countries. So, I really hate a love-hate-relationship with travel bloggers more than just a hate one..)
2. We are basically already in flip-flop weather here in North Carolina, so I’ve been trying to find home remedies to take care of my dry, crusty feet. They really are disgusting. I haven’t worn flip flops in at least two years because I’m afraid I’m going to scar a random child who catches a glimpse of them. This year we have beach trips planned so I figured I’d start now in getting these bad boys descaled. What is one of the cheapest/easiest recommendations I found? Castor oil. So, off to RiteAid I went.
Me: Hi, I’m looking for castor oil. You know, that stuff that pregnant women drink to induce labor? I read that it’s good for your skin, too, and I want to give it a whirl.
RiteAid Lady: Oh, sure! It’s over by the laxatives.
Lady: Yes, it’s commonly used to help with blockages.
Me: Women don’t poop out of their vaginas, though. I mean, I’ve only been alive for 30 years, but I’m pretty sure that’s right.
Lady: … No. No they don’t. There are definitely two holes down there.
Me: Three, actually. They don’t pee out of their vaginas, either. I don’t think you’re 30 yet, but some day you’ll know.
Lady: This is getting weird.
Poor woman didn’t know what she was getting into when she greeted me at the door.
3. I was recently interviewed by a fellow blogger here on WordPress. If you want to take a gander, go visit it here
Also, here’s the Random-Ass-Poll for this week! Remember, it’s anonymous!