adventures in awkward

It seems strange to be writing here. Awkward almost. Like the time I had my first kiss in a movie theater and didn’t know where to put my hands so I tried to gently caress the boy’s face and poked him in the eye with my fake nail instead. If there’s one thing that’ll ruin a romantic/touching moment it’s impalement. Just take my word for it. I feel like that awkward teenager right now. A little shy because I haven’t been around, embarrassed because I have to come back and admit that I flaked out again, and ashamed because I’ve made some genuine connections with people and I’m a terrible friend.

So, if you’re still here – HI! I know there’s only so many times I can leave and come back without people giving up on me, so I’m sure not many are left and actually reading this. That’s okay, though. To the ones that ARE reading this, you kick ass.

I hope you had a holiday season full of drinks so strong they knocked you off your ass, cookies so sweet your teeth are rotting, and presents that made you squeal and wriggle like a little kid. I hope it was great few months for everyone.

I’m planning on posting again regularly. This isn’t the first time I’ve said this, but I’m making a blood oath this time. It’s true. IT’S TRUE, I swear!

It’s going to take me a long time to get caught back up. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.

adventures in awkward

I’ve been hiding lately. It started off as a small blogging break, but ended up with me hiding in the basement with nothing but my cats and a never-ending supply of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. I might be exaggerating a tiny bit, but when you have social anxiety it pretty much feels that way. I’ve been meaning to start posting again for over a month now, but anxiety is a middle school bully that likes to rough me up and shove my head in dirty toilets while cackling maniacally as my hair gets sucked right off my scalp. I’m here, though. Finally. Screw bullies. Sorry it took so long.waldoback

I’ve had numerous comments/emails/msgs on Twitter about my disappearance. If I’ve worried you – I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve got to know a lot of awesome people on here, and it was a dick move for me to go MIA. I’m an ass. It’s going to take me awhile to catch up with all of your blogs again, but I’m on it. Just give me a few days.

Upon finally coming back after months, I’ve also realized my email was hacked. (I think?) I don’t know much about computers, so I’m working on getting it fixed. If you’ve received spam from me, sorry. Hopefully you didn’t click any sketchy links that made it so your computer was stuck on a picture of a man jerking off. (That happened to me when I was 15. No, I wasn’t looking at porn. I had to ask my dad to fix it and he never believed me. It was painfully awkward.)

I missed all of y’all. The majority of you are 1,000 times better than the people I meet in real life. Hope you’re all doing well.