they’re lying to you

Random-As-Shit Thoughts on a Thursday

1. My dad always told me if you were able, you should always do things on your own. None of that hiring-other-people crap to paint a wall. You better strap on some raggedy old overalls, get your god damn paintbrush  and get to work. Never mind the fact that you’re trapped in a pressure cooker while the smell paint thinner and toxic fumes begin to amass a lethal attack on your precious brain cells. (Who needed those extra thousand cells anyway?) Well, I’m not usually like that. Honestly, I’m lazy as hell. If I can pay someone to screw a light bulb in for me, I’m gonna do it. (Yes, even a light bulb.)

Anyway, I decided to heed my dad’s advice and do something I’ve never done before. Cut my own hair.  I mean, why pay someone to cut my hair when there’s hundreds of videos on YouTube promising me I can do it beautifully on my own with a few easy steps? WHY? Why spend my $30 when I can step into my bathroom and walk out looking like a celebrity? It just makes no sense.

Ladies, listen to me and listen to me closely. Never.cut.your.own.hair. Okay? OKAY? Those bitches on YouTube are lying.

2. I’m in the process of kind of “rebranding” (for lack of a better word) my blog. I’ll be changing the look, theme, colors, everything. It will still be humor-based, but with some other things added in. I love writing random humor stories, but I’ve been struggling to find things to write about. Not sure if I’m just getting old and boring or what’s going on. While humor stories will still be the main focus, I’ll be adding in other things that I’m interested in as well. This whole undertaking has been quite anxiety-inducing, so bear with me.

75 Comments

  1. I was going to trim my hair and blog it over Christmas, but my mom didn’t have hair cutting scissors like I remember her having for years. So I abandoned that idea. My dad DID offer to shave my head though. For some reason my parents think my hair is too out of control. 😛 (By the way, I declined his offer to shave my head. 😉 )

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  2. I attempted to cut my son’s hair when he was a toddler. Got out the electric clippers, and BUZZZZZZ….right down the middle of his head.

    I didn’t have a guard on, so I took the hair right down to the scalp. No way to fix it, so I buzzed the whole head bare. He looked like a cancer baby.

    Never again!

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  3. Looking forward to whatever curve balls you throw at us. I like to have a lot of variety. On my own blog, I have no business plan, no goals, no rules. I just post whatever I feel like. Still some people insist on coming back.

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  4. Honestly I was wondering how you always have so many funny things to write about ; p
    You have tons of loyal readers who love you. Anything interesting you post will be a hit : D

    Best of luck with the rebrand, sounds like a heck a lot of work!
    Meno<3

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  5. Two things. First, I cut my own hair. But I’m bald, so it’s just a matter of running my beard trimmer over my pate. Easy peasy.

    Second, if you’re struggling to find humorous things to write about, try responding to the myriad prompts posted by WordPress (e.g., the daily one-word prompt) or those from other bloggers. The prompts can be photo/image prompts, word prompts, whatever. If you like to write humorous posts, you can take those prompts and craft funny stories based upon your real life or you can create flash fiction pieces. It’s fun, a way to exercise your imagination, and you never run out things to write about.

    Something to think about.

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  6. I must be the queen of cutting my own hair. I even used pinking shears once so I wouldn’t get a “choppy look”. And yes, it almost always turns out bad. Why do I keep doing it? Because I live out in the country and when I get a bug up my large butt to “rebrand” my hair, I want it done NOW. Besides, it’s only hair and it will grow back and it gives me tons of fodder to blog about and I am a legend amongst my family and friends for being so “brave”! And don’t even get me started about home coloring hair….oy, the stories I have about that…

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    1. Oh man, very ballsy. You’re very right, hair DOES grow back thankfully. At least there’s always that to fall back on lol. See, home coloring doesn’t scare me as much. My only issue is that any shade of brown, my hair usually turns black for some reason. No idea why. I haven’t dyed my hair in at least a decade now!

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  7. My husband won’t even let me shave him now, I have a very bad knack of cutting him!! Look forward to checking out your new rebranded look. A change is always as good as a holiday. 🙂 Have fun

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      1. Oh, that just reminds me…. when I was a very, very young and freshly married woman (girl, really), we lived in Toronto, without a button to call ours, so I cut husband’s rich and wonderful hair and he did mine. His turned out pretty good (it was kept so long that as long as I didn’t take off his ears, it was fine!) but he was in a bit of a twisted knicker you know where when he started doing mine. He never managed to get the hair to an even length, so he cut some more left, then some more right – you get the picture?! It was a total desaster and I THEN had to go to.a hairdresser anyhow because I just couldn’t go to work with that .x*X°z.fuck-style…. I tell you that even with a hindsight of some 45yrs I remember that the woman in command of my mess wasn’t terribly pleased!!!! Makes me grin NOW… 🙂

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  8. Jay

    1. I agree and disagree. I think it’s not “should you even try” really. If you’re just going to hurt yourself or your millions of lovely hardworking cells, higher someone! There is no shame in that. (My phone turned shame into Shane several times, and I was tempted to leave the typo because it made me smile)

    2. YOU. CANNOT. CHANGE. THE. NAME.

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  9. “I love writing random humor stories, but I’ve been struggling to find things to write about.” – really now?! Go outside, sit down somewhere close to an intersection and look at people. Or, go through world news for inspiration. Get to a pub, restaurant. Sheepo, the world is full with hilarious shit! Or at least with things we can be sarcastic about.

    Reply
    1. Okay, okay, you’re right. It honestly shouldn’t be that hard to find humorous inspiration. For some reason I’m struggling like hell about it, though. I mean, I’ll never post anything at all unless there’s SOME sort of humor in it. Just going to slightly change it a little lol.

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  10. Hair solution: Get a bizarre thyroid disease. Take the meds they prescribe. Watch all your hair, long (and beautiful, I’m told) since you were a surfer girl in the 60’s, fall out one giant hairball at a time.

    Problem solved. Ha-ha?

    F-ing side effects!

    Oh, and your blog…I’ll read anything you write…period. Wanna read more of me?

    shameless plug here: https://chosenperspectives.com/2017/11/08/wordlesswednesday-11-8-17/

    and background check for truth: https://chosenperspectives.com/2016/08/27/all-this-talk-about-hair/

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  11. My hubs subscribes to that same do-it-your-own-lazy-self ethic, BUT I begin to suspect that Money is a more renewable resource than time for most of us. So some of our parents were lying, too…

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  12. Oh HELLS NOOOOOO!!!!! I learned early on, you can COLOR your own hair. Even the gal who does my hair assures me that she can always fix it unless I burn it off…but You. can’t. fix. CUT!!!

    That said, I’m pretty sure you don’t need some random chick ragging on you about what you have already figgered out…the hard way!

    And I look forward to seeing your purdy new blog look! ~ Lynn

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  13. We may be related…sounds like your dad is MY dad, too. I can paint and nail with the best of ’em when I have the right tools. Besides, necessity is the mother of invention when your bank account is zilch. Haircutting…do maintaining bangs count?
    Good luck on the rebranding. Blogging takes some serious hard work and getting the behind the face technology to cooperate can be daunting. Hat’s off to you!

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  14. I cut my own hair. I used to us cuticle scissors, but that was really difficult. I actually thought about it one day recently and realized it might be easier with a nice pair of hair cutting scissors. So I bought some. Oh my! What a difference. They are awesome. I have never looked at a hair cutting videos. Perhaps I should. I know that it must make a difference what angle you cut the hair shaft. I cut my hair because 1) I am not that picky, it will grow 2) I can’t get hair dressers to cut it choppy and that is how I want it 3) seems like short hair needs to be cut so much more often than a longer style and going to get it cut every 4 weeks is ridiculous and annoying. So . . . I usually get tired of it before I can get to the person who cuts my hair so I end up hacking at it.

    Good luck on the new direction!

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  15. Oooo I always cut my own hair!! Although, I think I have a *tiny* bit of an advantage because it’s my natural hair that I’m cutting – or what’s left of it anyways, and it’s always covered by a wig so no one can see it HAHA

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  16. My sister can cut her own hair to a certain degree, but it’s a hard-won skill. You start small, trimming up or adding bangs, altering an existing cut by trimming off unwanted bits or cleaning up bits that grew out too fast. You’ll make mistakes, but they’re easier to take when it’s small scale. That said, I tried trimming up my own bangs once and I’ve definitely joined the “NEVER AGAIN” club on hair cutting. I’ll happily pay someone to cut my hair and get it right.

    As for re-branding, I’m just happy to see you posting again so I look forward to seeing wherever it is you go.

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  17. If I have to agree with just one thing you ever wrote it’s this: NEVER CUT YOUR OWN HAIR…. That’s one investment I’m perfectly ready to make – although when much younger, my son used to say: Mummy have you put your fingers in the plug – they look like crazy parsley….
    Whatever you’ll write on your blog in the future (or not), it’s your decision and ppl who don’t like it just unsubscribe, easy enough, isn’t it?!
    Love and kisses from wintery France (hard to believe that in a day or so we should have springtime and that it’s my 20th wedding anniversary too…. although it wasn’t THAT hot either!)

    Reply
  18. I cut my own hair once… and then got a friend to tidy it up for me… then had to go to a proper salon and pay real money to have the whole mess trimmed to just above my ears. Needless to say, the next time I got fed up with my hair, I shaved my head. 😀 Happy to wait and see what changes you make and new content you post. x

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  19. I cut my own hair once. I was in college and if I remember correctly there were some substances involved that guaranteed poor judgment. I was a Theater major so no one seemed to notice.

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  20. Noooo. Never attempt cutting your own hair (although I think it is really good to make drastic hair changes every few years or so – just to find out who you really are…people tend to get stuck and become their old old hairstyle personality. The world changes – people need to move on, too….but that doesn’t mean cutting your own hair!!!!) (Consider the source of You Tube videos – if those people were really any good, they’d be hoarding haircut secrets and making money in salons…)

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  21. Thanks for the good laugh! I tried cutting my bangs once…only once. I kept needing to “even out the sides I am sure you can figure out how that ended up. I now have a wonder Hair professional who gives the best scalp massages while shampooing soooo worth the money! Not to mention the 45 minute respite from the world!

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  22. My dad said the very same thing about not hiring people and do the work yourself. Lucky for him, he had nephews and son in laws that always “volunteered.”

    My wife has been cutting my hair for 12 years now. I finally look pretty good.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Nice! Well, it’s always easy to not hire someone when you have a group of volunteers lol. I actually cut my husband’s hair, too. Took me forever to get decent at it haha.

      Reply

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