let’s gorge ourselves on Oreos

Random-As-Shit Thoughts On A Tuesday

1. I’ve wandered off the plank and I’m drowning deep in what has to be the worst bout of writer’s block imaginable. It’s rough down here. I’m trying to tread water but my head’s been under so long I’m at the point where I’ve turned into a catatonic vegetable without a functioning brain anymore.  And not a good one like a cucumber either, more like a lone asparagus stalk that’s sole purpose is to make your pee smell like sulfuric death. (Am I the only that one that’s completely repulsed by asparagus? Yuck.) Anyways, I want to be here. I miss you guys. I feel like I’ve made a lot of friends on here and I’ve been cheating on you with my  real life, which… let’s be honest… is far less fun and interesting. I’ve made a schedule for myself and plan to be here daily to post or read your guy’s posts. It will take me forever to catch up, but it starts today. What have you done to get over writer’s block? Or do you just gorge on a sleeve of Oreos dipped in peanut butter until it goes away?

2. I’m hoping none of you guys were affected by Harvey or Irma. My brother and his girlfriend live in Fort Lauderdale, Fl, so we had some unexpected guests here for about a week. It’s always fun having people stay at your house unexpectedly, not knowing when they’ll be able to leave, while simultaneously eating all of the food in your kitchen. Let me tell you, nothing tips the depression scale more than waking up to enjoy your favorite coffee only to find out your guests have killed the last of your sugar-free creamer. The horror! The madness! You can’t mess with people’s coffee. This is America, god damn it! Really, though… I would have let them stay for however long they needed. I hope if any of your had to evacuate, you had a safe place to go. I’m over hurricane season.

3. I have a random question to ask you guys. I asked Alex this a few nights ago and I’ve asked a few other people since then just to see what their answers would be. We are approaching Halloween, so it’s a fitting question.

– If you died today and could choose one person to haunt for the rest of their life, who would it be and why? (It has to be someone you’ve met in real life, I know the majority of you want to haunt Trump. Also, it doesn’t have to be a scary haunting like you’re Pennywise or something, you could just be a ghost that is annoying as hell.)

129 Comments

  1. Honestly, I don’t think I could do the haunting thing because in real life, I just don’t spend time with people I dislike! I understand this is very unusual as many people spend much of their time with people they dislike and continually give themselves reasons for doing so.
    The asparagus thing … I read years ago that asparagus ruins the taste of … well, oral sex. Apparently it’s one of the few foods that can do this.
    And, one thing that I heard was good for writer’s block is to have several projects on the go at once.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I can imagine asparagus ruining oral sex. Would have to eat a lot of pineapple to cancel it out. I heard that makes it better lol. Not sure if it’s true or not though!

      Reply
  2. I would probably haunt my partner. But in a nice way…mostly. Like, I’d leave notes reminding him to do things or queue up a bunch of good shit on Netflix for him to enjoy on hang out with him but I would probably also leave drawings of butts everywhere and wake him up by putting my face really close to his face.

    Reply
  3. I’m having similar malaise of function. Some days I can tackle things. This morning, I tackled the snooze button about 6 times. Got 2 extra hours of fractured sleep. I’m dubious that I can declare that to be a victory of any kind–unless we count a victory of entropy?

    Reply

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