your colon smells great

Am I the only one that gets seriously annoyed when they are corrected by random people online? I’m talking about the grammar police in all their unholy glory. Here in the “blogiverse,” (that word chaps my ass a little) it seems like everyone and their mother has an English degree and likes to shove it in the face of unsuspecting writers when they spot a mistake. What’s with that? Don’t you guys have something better to do with your time? Why leave a random comment that has nothing to do with a blog post solely to correct someone you don’t know? Am I missing something here?

smellycolons

Usually the amazing lessons from the self-appointed grammar police begin like:

“I think you meant to say…”
“Not to be rude, but…”
“My mom thinks I’m special and smart, it would be a shame not to share my knowledge…”
“I won my 8th grade spelling bee, so I’ve got the credentials to correct you…”
“I don’t get enough attention in real life, so I feel the need to make strangers feel belittled.”

News flash: nobody likes a know-it-all. You guys really are the bursting ass pimples of the internet.

/end rant.

seizuresalad

Also, I get annoyed by terrible spelling too, so I’m not completely exempt in all of this. It’s the people that go out of their way to correct it is what drives me nuts. It always seems like people do it just to pat themselves on the back for being smart.

147 Comments

  1. I get annoyed when I ask a simple question on Facebook and get 12 replies NOT ANSWERING THE QUESTION!
    I asked where the best place near Myrtle Beach was to see the eclipse last week and got so much crap on had to wear boots just to check my feed.
    The internet has a unique talent to bring out the worst in people.

    Reply
  2. Thought eyed way inn hear. Butt eye half noughing two seigh. Yesido! A strawberry farmer noticed a very large berry in his patch. In fact it was of the size that Roald Dahl attributed to his famous peach. Like the evil aunts in Dahl’s tale (or should I say “tail”?), he put up signs on the roads that would lead spectators to his strawberry patch, who paid for the privilege of looking at the anomaly. Soon his bib overalls bulged with bounty from the unexpected traffic. And, inevitably, a black sedan pulled up in his drive and two men, dressed also in black, emerged.

    “You the farmer selling tickets to see a strawberry?”

    “Not just any strawberry,” the farmer beamed, “the biggest in the world!”

    “We’re from the IRS, and know you’ve not reported your income. We’re here to seize your berry, not to praise it.”

    Reply
  3. I usually laugh at such mistakes, rather than point them out.

    My favorite was when a mother posted her daughter’s prom pictures. She was gushing over her daughter being all growed up and going to Pron.

    Might wanna suggest a different career path there, Ma.

    Reply
  4. I am always amused with the, “I don’t mean to be rude, but …” and then they proceed to be rude.

    and last time I had a salad at “McDonald’s”, I came very close to having a seizure so I’m giving that one a little room to be possibly correct.

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  5. I’m not nearly as bothered by the grammar nazis as I am by the people who take the time and energy to post “who the hell cares?!” about something. Um. If you don’t care, then get off the friggin’ feed and leave the rest of us alone!

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      1. NO! Thank god it hasn’t happened to me! I would cry too – I already think no one cares about my writing! haha!
        I see it in comments all the time though – like when the local TV station posts something cute or funny, people get bent out of shape that it isn’t “news worthy.” I can’t understand why they can’t just scroll past and ignore it – instead they have to voice their negativity for all to see.

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  6. Sob! I admit it! I am a self-appointed Grammar Cop. BUT! I do not go around flaunting my hideous proclivities, correcting others in mid-comment! No! Instead, I keep my musings to myself on my blog, every Friday, in my Friday Follies (Making Grammar Great Again, One Hyphen at a Time) posts. (For a particularly egregious error, I might tell the person in a P.M. Wouldn’t you like to know, so you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in public again?) Just sayin’.

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    1. I’d only like to know if it’s an insanely embarrassing mistake! Haha. See, it’s okay to correct spelling and grammar on your own blog, it’s the people who go out of their way to do it to strangers that drives me nuts. Since I know who you are, I wouldn’t be offended if you corrected me actually :D. I can be a spelling cop. People who don’t know the difference between there/their/they’re deserve to be called out. Haha

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  7. I wouldn’t be offended if someone posted a correction, though a private message would be more tactful. If bloggers are presenting themselves as writers and asking people to spend time reading their thoughts, then they should spend a few moments proofreading. And not trusting Autocorrect, which is the devil!

    Marissa, if you start a Grammar Police FB page, sign me up!!

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  8. I make plenty of grammar mistakes and even more spelling mistakes, so I try not to correct anyone. Besides, a bit of bad grammar is hardly ending life on earth as we know it, is it? There are some words I think ought to be outlawed, though. For instance, “iconic”. The most common use for that word is in describing somebody you think is important, but you can’t really explain why. It makes me cringe a little when I see it. I’m also not happy about the newly popular use of the word “they” as a neutral gender third person singular. I’d rather we make a new word up than use a plural as a singular, but it seems I’m in the minority on this one.

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  9. I am a bit weary about all of this. I try to be as correct as possible when I write in English (not my first but 3rd language). But then I asked a person (from London) about something she wrote in the nicest possibl way if that was correct as I was uncertain (personal interest) and the next thing was a rant as you did here (only yours is much funnier!) that although she speaks xx languages, she doesn’t need to be corrected (I asked her a question, and I even noted that she might want to take off my comment after having replied as I totally wouldn’t want her to feel obliged) and she might have a strange way of writing things etc etc – I felt like an arse and have sworn to myself not to do it again….
    Except last week I suggested to an American blogger that the pronounciation of a place in France would be ….. (if she wanted to impress the French!!) – and she reacted totally sweet and thanked me even. Guess I should shut up. Full stop…..

    Reply
    1. Aw, I’m sorry she took it so personally. See, if someone was wondering if something I wrote was incorrect because it wasn’t their first language, I wouldn’t take that offensively. I would have just taken as you were trying to learn, not criticize! Sorry she ranted to you. If you are trying to teach me French, I would listen! I love learning other languages lol.

      Reply
      1. I have forgiven her but I WAS weary as I felt her as being quite ‘difficult’ before. In hindsight I shouldn’t have asked her (and to really pee her off probably, my ‘perception’ was right not hers) – only I comment much less now, always expecting a needled remark.
        Thankfully, she was the only one EVER and I have tons of correspondence with people – they even compliment me, THAT’S kind and good behaviour my friends! 😉

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    1. 😂😂😂 I was gonna say the same thing! It’s all good, Blair! We all make mistakes! I made a massive spelling error in the TITLE of a blog post. I’ve never encountered anyone commenting on my grammar on my blog, though. Perhaps my RBF shows through and suddenly ain’t no one got time for that.

      Reply
  10. I admit to being somewhat pedantic when it comes to grammar and spelling. That said, I won’t comment to point out such errors in others’ post. But if a blogger continually makes grammar, spelling, or usage errors, I will stop reading their posts.

    Now it’s time for me to fix myself a bowl of serial.

    Reply
  11. I graduated from college, later picked up a masters, worked as a librarian my entire career, and in spite of all that I still seem to struggle with how to correctly use “affect” and “effect” (“impact” being a miserable substitute and even incorrect in most of my contexts). I struggle each and every day with grammar. So I could never imagine myself pointing out an error made by someone else.

    Yet, when Trump tweeted “heel” rather than “heal’? God, was I ever laughing. And so it goes.

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  12. Mercy…. I’m a grammar nazi, and I don’t publicly scold for errors like that! Often it’s autocorrect’s fault, as someone mentioned earlier.
    If I know the writer and it seems important, I’ll send a private message.

    Reply
  13. Bubble Up

    a man who writes great articles in the local sports pages had one in July on “tush” vs “tusk” talking about feral hogs in south Alabama. He gets corrected all the time, tells people to look up what a “tush” is (pertaining to animal teeth) in the dictionary.

    Reply
  14. “It always seems like people do it just to pat themselves on the back for being smart.”

    Well, that’s definitely one way of looking at it!

    I always assumed kind tendencies. You know, they cared enough that they didn’t want me misspelling something simple, like “led”. You know, not the metal, lead, or a penchant to “lead”, but the past tense.

    Interesting. Maybe I’ll just get mad next time.

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  15. I’m an unrepentant grammar nazi! It’s ‘fewer’ and there’s no such thing as ‘quite’, ‘somewhat’, ‘very’ unique. It’s unique or it isn’t. But I only vent my spleen at the BBC because they are paid to know better. And it’s fun. Oh yes. Mwahahah 😈

    Reply
  16. Mistakes in tweets makes me cringe (my own included), but half the time it’s autocorrect (or a typo) so it’s also hilarious. Otherwise, I can cringe all I like, it’s still petty to point it out. Also, if they’re anything like me, they realised their mistake as soon as they hit post/send. Noooooo!

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  17. I hate poor spelling and grammar, but it seems incredibly bad manners to post a message correcting it. Not everyone has had the same opportunities when it comes to learning spelling and grammar, and people have all sorts of conditions and learning difficulties which may make typing or spelling difficult. That said, I make more mistakes since the invention of autocorrect than I ever did before! I once posted in response to my friend’s sick cat and said, “I hope the dead [dear] boy feels better soon.” I still feel terrible about that, especially as the cat later died. 🙁

    Reply
    1. I’m sorry, but that made me laugh out loud hahaha. As a cat lover, it’s terribly sad, but I couldn’t help it! Eek. Autocorrect always sticks it to you. You’re right about the manners. You never know where people come from and what their past has been like, so it’s not right to say anything. If only other people saw it like that too.

      Reply
  18. I’m apparently the latest in a long line to come here for the purpose of thanking you only to end up gorging on the content. Love your stuff! And yes, thank you for liking my latest post and following my blog. I’m a newbie at this game and get excited out of my mind when these things happen.
    Other than that, I belong to those grammar Nazis the “blogiverse” obviously hates. In my defense, I only snicker behind their backs and congratulate myself on being oh-so-smart in the privacy of my own room with my cats as audience.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you 😀 Too kind. I like your closeted Nazism haha. It makes it okay, as long as you are patting your own back in the privacy of your own home.

      Reply
  19. I pity the people who correct this kind of stuff as they seem so utterly oblivious that the world is a better (and funnier) place for it.

    Besides, I grew up saying ‘by the large’ instead of ‘by and large’, and even though I now know that’s not how it’s supposed to be, I still like my way better.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha, that’s a saying I don’t hear often. If you said “by the large” in person to me, I probably wouldn’t have even realized it was wrong! We are in the same boat lol.

      Reply
  20. Re the much hated autocorrect: I’m writing in three languages all the time – on my phone I can change the keyboard, but only to US English. So, 2 days ago I sent a pic to my son with a text and didn’t realise I had the E-keyboard on (the worst is the French….. – I hate it with a passion). But the English is the only one auto-correcting and so I had to completely re-write my message as it sounded like the poor boy’s drunken and sunken mother who (not which/that!) should be in a AA meeting instead of ‘talking’ to him…. 😉
    HIS grammar however is so appalling that I have to re-read all his written messages at least 3 times, and I’m his mother…. He has plenty (make that caps!) other qualities and manages his life beautifully – see (sea!!!) being a heavy-duty dyslexic doesn’t make you ‘bad’.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh man, if French is worse than the American English one, I take pity on ye! The English one is terrible. The French one must be hilarious 😀 Auto correct makes some amazing mistakes though. Like colon for cologne haha.

      Reply
  21. I have a friend who is a serious grammar nazi. I really savour the tiniest mistake in his FB posts. That’s when I reach for my metaphorical baseball bat and give him the beating he so richly deserves.

    I take my pleasure where I find it 🙂

    Reply

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