all about the areola

Random As Shit Thoughts On A Friday

1. Do you guys ever get to the point where you’re so overtired you laugh at nothing? This always happens to me. Alex and I will be watching something serious on TV at night and I burst out laughing over some fleeting thought, and he stares at me awkwardly like I’ve suddenly sprout an extra head or the skin on my face is melting off. I call these the night crazies. They make me laugh so hard I start gagging. It’s actually pretty fun. Last night I walked into the room where Alex was watching a soccer game (or football, for all you fancy EU folks.) I glanced at the TV for a second and realized the goalie’s last name was Areola. AREOLA. I laughed so hard that it felt as someone kicked me in the stomach. Could you imagine growing up with that last name? Poor guy. (Honestly, I have a childlike sense of humor, so I probably would have found this funny even if I wasn’t overtired.)

2. I know most of you shop on Amazon… right? In 2017, I’d actually be a bit concerned if you didn’t. Anyways, I added a link to my sidebar that leads to the front page of Amazon. There is nothing different about it, except I’ll get a tiny kickback from ‘recommending you use Amazon.’ This is a humor blog, so I don’t intend on trying to actually sell anything off Amazon to you guys, but if you use my link it will help support me/my site at no extra cost to you. If you do use it, I truly appreciate it.

3. If you’re following the saga of Neighbor Boy (you know, that prick in my cul-de-sac that wrote with permanent marker all over my car?) After a month-long lull in activity, it has peaked again. We had workers at our house last week redoing our deck, and apparently they caught Douche Boy throwing eggs at their work truck. Seriously. This kid just randomly walks out and throws eggs at a car in someone else’s driveway. Who the fuck does that? The day after that, he walked to the middle of our cul-de-sac, smashed plates, watched the shards fly everywhere, then ran back inside. So, we finally went over and spoke to his dad. Hopefully it changes something. We really need to move…

Just wanted to add in – RIP to Chester Bennington. I cannot emphasize the impact Linkin Park had on me while I was growing up. Their old music still gives me the massive feels every time I listen to it. Please, if anyone is having/knows someone who is having thoughts of suicide… reach out for help.Β 

71 Comments

  1. My daughter at age 4, took this plastic slinky and held it against her bum while sticking her butt out at us at the same time and said, “Look! Look at my… BUM-gina!” This was followed immediately after she stuck it to her front and said “Look at my penis!” Now, nine years later, I’m still laughing my ass off whenever I re-play that whole scene in my head! BUM-GINA! Come on.. classic! You can’t get better than that – it’s like at that moment, I realized the purpose of having children. And might I say I’m pretty proud of her. She is truly my off-spring!

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That’s amazing. I hope my future kids have a kickass sense of humor like that haha. I would have *died* laughing at that. Bum-gina has a nice ring to it πŸ˜€

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  2. No kidding, I have night crazies too. As I lay down to sleep I’m overcome with silliness and giggling, babble incoherently for a few seconds, then pass out. I always thought it was just cocktail hour wearing off. Thanks for sharing.

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  3. Neighbor Boy…something is seriously wrong with that kid! And it’s a shame his parents aren’t doing anything about it. Chester Bennington…huge talent! A real shame his demons got the best of him. It is always incredibly sad when I hear stories like this. RIP Chester.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      There IS something wrong with the kid. I’m nervous he’s going to grow up to become a serial killer or something. Eek. It’s painfully sad about Chester. I wish it didn’t end up this way. What a true talent.

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  4. There are times that I will laugh at nearly anything, and when that happens, it’s scary (for other people). I have a carefully crafted laugh to avoid my real laugh, which has been described as “a dying icked Witch of the West if she were both demented and demon-possessed.”

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Well, that would scare the shit out of me lol. I’m curious to hear what this crafted laugh sounds like now! Muhahaha.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      He was pretty receptive actually. He looked at the plate the kid broke and said “Oh.. yeah… these are the plates from our house!” So he definitely believed it. Hopefully the dad does something so we have no further issues.

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  5. I too want to know how the Dad was during your talk… Cuz um… you could have pressed felony charges against him at this point. And not that I condone violence, but do you really want to mess with a construction crew?…. Just saying..

    Re: moving – STOP THAT THINKING… I recently had a run in with a new tenant in my building… I won’t go into details but… the response from said tenant wasn’t positive and I was stressed and anxious about the encounter and then skulking around not getting my mail etc.. for fear I’d see him. I finally came to my senses… HELLO! I’ve been here a lot longer, I was NOT in the wrong and why was I giving so much power to someone else when THIS is MY safe haven.. The situation is of course different where you have an agressor, but YOU belong there. This kid is the issue as are the parents for continuing to let this happen. You would have the law on your side if push came to shove… Own it girl… Rock and be blissful in your home space…

    BTW.. Who’s plates did he smash – his own? And right in front of your driveway so you’d drive over them?… I really don’t like this kid….errr punk.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      He was pretty receptive actually. He looked at the plate the kid broke and said “Oh.. yeah… these are the plates from our house!” So he definitely believed it. Hopefully the dad does something so we have no further issues. The plates weren’t in front of our driveway, it was in the dead center of the cul-de-sac. The kid is an idiot. We didn’t bring up the marker on the car or anything massive, we just wanted to start off small and see if the parents would fix it before we brought the hammer down. I wish I could just own where I live, but it’s hard to do when someone is targeting my belongings and property and destroying it. If it was just words, I would be fine. That shit doesn’t bother me, but it has escalated much further than that sadly πŸ™ I’m glad you are comfortable where you live though! It’s never good to give someone power over you.

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      1. So sorry – was not in any way trying to downplay the severity of this kids malevolent and destructive acts on your property/home. He’s a definitely a delinquent and wish you c/would press charges if it continues… but of course that needs to be your decision. I just worry as your virtual friend….

        I am glad that this initial step was taken with acknowledgement by the dad. Hopefully it leads to other conversations (if needed).

        Hang in there!

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  6. I’m with the rest of the guys here – How’d the little angel…er…demon’s parental units take ‘the talk?’ Cause I’d be tempted to drag the little hellspawn home by the ear and paddle his little ass in front of the units.

    Hmmmm…might have to paddle the parents, too…

    But don’t move…there’s too much blog fodder where you’re at πŸ˜€

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      He was pretty receptive actually. He looked at the plate the kid broke and said “Oh.. yeah… these are the plates from our house!” So he definitely believed it. Hopefully the dad does something so we have no further issues. Haven’t said anything about the extreme stuff like the eggs or marker yet, hoping that telling the dad something simple won’t cause a rift before we go to the extremes lol.

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  7. The parents’ reaction is important. However, and speaking from personal experience, if the kid is really bored (teenage boys, especially, tend to petty vandalism when they’re bored, although mine wasn’t as destructive as your neighbor seems to be), the parents can say whatever and he’ll still do it, unless he gets involved in some healthier activity. Also it depends on who he hangs out with. My advice: CALL THE COPS. They may not do.much, but if the kid is on their radar, they’ll remember him in the future which could have an impact. After a few run -ins, they’ll be more thorough in checking him out. Bored kids tend to gravitate toward worse behaviors such as drugs or driving under the influence.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, you’re 100% right. This kid is bored. His parents work all day and leave his teenage sisters to look after him. Which, I’m pretty sure they most likely just ignore him. He never has friends over. EVER. He’s always alone. We have called the cops and filed a report against him/the vandalism, but nothing has really come of it yet. We didn’t have security cameras until after our car was tagged, and we haven’t caught him on camera doing anything since. Him breaking bottles/plates is definitely on camera, but the egging isn’t. The owner of the truck SAW the kid egg it, but they didn’t want to get cops involved. Hopefully the parent’s will fix it on their own. The dad was pretty receptive and believed us.

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  8. My partner gets the night crazies. He’ll be reading, or watching TV, or just lying in bed and suddenly start laughing his ass off, and I give him the same look Alex gives you… He has a schoolboy sense of humour, (areola would have had him almost crying with laughter, and he thinks farts are hysterically funny) and will laugh about something he read online the previous week, or something someone said at work 4 days ago.. I am occasionally concerned for his sanity. πŸ˜‰

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha, he sounds exactly like me! It’s so funny when things from a week ago randomly pop into your mind and crack you up. I also have a schoolboy(girl) sense of humor πŸ˜€ It’s more fun like that.

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  9. Kim

    I’d leave something funny or witty, but I think getting right to the point is best in this case……I think the police need to be brought into your neighborhood brat saga…..seriously – before he becomes a serial killer or something!

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      They are already involved after the car tagging! Nothing has really come of it yet though. I agree – this kid is down the path of becoming a serial killer for sure. It’s scary. We are planning on moving soon, so we will be gone long before that happens. Thank god.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      He was pretty receptive actually. He looked at the plate the kid broke and said “Oh.. yeah… these are the plates from our house!” So he definitely believed it. Hopefully the dad does something so we have no further issues. The parents are actually pretty friendly, but they pay zero attention to their kids. Hence the issues! The kid is home alone with his teenage sisters all day, and I’m sure they don’t pay any attention to him either.

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  10. That kid needs help. I don’t know how old he is, but he’s in desperate need of help. That is not normal behavior. Depending on his age, you can actually call CPS about it; I know this is supposed to be a humor blog, but either his parents are totally overwhelmed by him or have their own shit going on or in serious denial. I had a neighbor kid who is ADHD, autistic and OCD. He was masturbating in the street … just for the hell of it. The mother, it turns out was alcoholic and the father had lost his job numerous times. I called the police because the kid was going to get seriously injured by someone (almost was — a man flew down our pipestem chasing him when he observed him pleasuring himself upon sight of his little sister…) so, you might have to Be That Person.

    And yes, hilarious about the Areola dude. We are big soccer fans here.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Holy crap, I would have called someone about that too. That’s disturbing. I would be that person in two seconds if I witnessed that. The cops are already involved in our situation too, but not CPS yet. I don’t think the parents have issues, but who knows – I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. I do know that they are NEVER home and always working though. He is 11, and he is always left at home with his teenage sisters who I’m sure don’t pay attention to him. We are looking to move by the end of the year anyways. Thank god.

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  11. I start laughing at most random moments and at most random things as well. And like you said, it’s actually fun.
    That kid sounds like a monster.
    I’m sad about Chester Bennington’s death as well. They were such an important part of my growing up; I’d listen to them while studying, doing homework, living…

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Getting laughs out of nowhere is always the best. Makes life much more interesting! Right? It’s a true tragedy. Linkin Park was HUGE for me growing up. It’s so sad.

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  12. That kid needs to be reported to the police. I wouldn’t hesitate to call them, considering his history of deviant behavior. They might have the resources to get him the help he needs– and if nothing else, you’ll be on record for making them aware of this kid’s behavior should it escalate. Could help down the line.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      We got the police involved after our car was tagged with sharpie! The company/guy that owned the work van that got egged didn’t want to get anyone involved though, so who knows. At least it’s in their reports so if something ever comes of it they will already have a record. I hate this kid.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That makes me laugh too! I have such a little kid sense of humor. My husband’s middle name is Richard, so I call him Dick on occasion. He hates it, but it’s fun for me. Muhaha πŸ˜€

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      100% agreed. Hopefully his parents realize and get him some before I have to officially press charges against him.

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  13. How old is this kid? The answer would affect the ‘solution’ – younger, CPS. Older, cops, for sure!! has to be serious consequences or he’ll keep doing it and even escalate to worse stuff. You don’t want that. Sounds to me like one angry kid…

    Re ‘Areola,’ too funny!!!! The poor guy, can u imagine all the jokes he’s had to face? Change of name, anyone? LOL!

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      He is 11, but we’ve already called the cops on him before to file a complaint about vandalism a month or so ago. He definitely is angry! We are trying to move by the end of the year, so hopefully we won’t be around to see what type of serial killer he grows up to be. Ick.

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      1. OMG he’s a criminal prodigy! I expected 15, 14 maybe, but 11?! My guess is he lives in a hate-filled home. Maybe he needs to “visit” with some bad dudes in prison to get “scared straight.” But I dunno if it would work. Therapy, maybe. SOMEthing has to be done. And yes, get outta there!

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  14. For me, it’s finding something uproariously funny, that doesn’t seem humorous at all in the telling. My best example was from a movie (Ruthless People?) where there has been a kidnapping and the ransom is left in a parkette in a brown paper bag where the kidnapper dressed in a clown suit is going to pick it up. The police are watching and don’t believe that a clown would be part of this, so when the clown approaches the bag they warn him off with the statement “Get away from the bag, Bozo.” Tears of laughter were streaming down my face. And decades later, I still can’t explain why I found this so funny.
    Good luck with the Amazon thing. The money is as good in your pockets as anybody else’s!

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha, that’s hilarious. Sometimes things just hit us that way. I have some movie moments like that too, and I’ve seen them a hundred times and still laugh as hard πŸ˜€ I’ve never heard of Ruthless People though, maybe I’ll check it out πŸ˜€

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  15. Totally got the sads about Chester Bennington. I broke myself yesterday watching a video of him and Chris Cornell singing Hunger Strike. That song always destroys me a little bit, but seeing the two of them performing together was more than my heart could take.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh man, I’m not sure what that song is, but I’m too afraid to look/watch. It will probably give me the sads too πŸ™

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  16. Bubble Up

    Start documenting the incidents. Then you’ll have proof if it continues to escalate. Also photographs. Parents are ignoring the problem, & bet they’ll move & move again if pushed. I’d sorta ask other neighbors w/kids what this kid does in school.

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  17. we call those “the Tired Crazies” — because they don’t just happened at night! but yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. they are cause debilitating laughter sometimes, and usually at the most mundane of things.

    also, I share your sympathies for Chester Bennington. he and his bandmates were a great influence on my youth.

    Reply

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