what about the children?

I’ve had one of those headaches lately that’s so painful it feels like Satan is throwing a Pampered Chef party in my brain and the only thing he is  selling is a set of rusty knives. Since it’s a party – I’m assuming they are dancing, flailing them around, and getting a little stabby with each other while Hitler and Hussein invade each other’s territories in the bedroom. It is Hell, after all. As are those home-hosted parties that your friends guilt trip you into attending just to sell you crap you don’t really need. Man, I hate those. You have to go, though, or you’re not being supportive enough because this is the income they use to feed their children. You don’t want to be the reason little Betty Sue starves, do you? What about sweet young Gary? SO. MUCH. PRESSURE.

On the plus side, my migraine got me out of going to a SuperBowl party that I didn’t want to be at. The only problem was, was that the party was at my house. How awkward is it to go to a party when one of the hosts is hiding upstairs in a dark room crying as they eat buffalo wing dip with a spoon?  Kudos to my husband who had to answer the endless flow of questions about my whereabouts all night. Poor guy.

How did you spend your SuperBowl evening? Are you pissed the Patriots won? Do you not give a crap either way? Did you watch the Puppy or Kitten Bowl instead? (I recorded it so I could watch it later!)

I love polls, so answer this random question! Remember, it’s anonymous – so you have to answer truthfully! No one will know.

[Total_Soft_Poll id=”5″]

 

 

95 Comments

  1. Dude. They want money, they can GET A JOB. Get. A. Job. Or do without money. Don’t make people buy rusty knives to stick in their heads.

    I happened to be on the train during the Super Bowl, and the loud person in front of me was watching the commercials on her phone, which made me want her to shut up. Some of us would like PEACE AND QUIET ON THE TRAIN AT THE MOMENT.

    I am really disappointed to have missed the Puppy Bowl, though. Especially Kitten Halftime. My kids and I are reeeeeeally into puppies and kittens even though I am mean and will only allow 2 pets per species (cats and dogs only; no hedgehogs, iguanas, etc.) into our household. So we bond over things like puppies and kittens on TV. Too bad we were on the train, I guess.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      SO MEAN! 2 of each is quite a bit! I can’t say I’d allow all of that when I had kids lol. Too much to clean up after. I would have punched that lady on the train, too. Why not use headphones?

      Reply
  2. I tried to watch the Super Bowl, but I kept falling asleep. I was at a youth retreat with thousands of teens all weekend and was exhausted. I was not happy that New England won. I hate when the same team wins all the time(unless it is my team).

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Agreed. I was hoping the Cardinals would win just because they haven’t in awhile. Kudos to you for putting your time in at a youth retreat. I couldn’t do it. lol

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That’s a good thing 😀 But I’m sure you’ve heard of Avon, Mary Kay, Rodan & Fields, Scentsy,etc… THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM. It’s painful.

      Reply
  3. I hosted a SuperBowl party here in the UK. Great game. However I wish to register a complaint. The time difference meant that I didn’t get to bed until 4am, hence I was very tired for all of the next day. Can’t you American fellows get your act together and catch up to London time? Isn’t this something that your new King Trump could pass a law on? He seems to be full of interesting ideas.

    This time nonsense has been going on for centuries and it’s about ‘time’ you sorted it out.

    p.s. Who was that playing Peter Pan at half time?

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Ah, yes. The old time issue. I have hope King Trump will find a way to make it right. He’s the best! WOO. As for Peter Pan…? That had to be Brad Pitt 🙂

      Reply
  4. Future BIL opted to sell Amway, so I feel your pain. He thinks that my job is to support him by buying his overpriced nonsense. He doesn’t know me that well.

    And I forgot that the Super Bowl was even on until I saw headlines the next day. Oops.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Amway… that’s one I’ve never heard of. I’m glad for that lol. I really hate when people do that, I always feel guilty when I say ‘no’ to their crap. It’s maddening.

      Reply
      1. The funny part is that he doesn’t even “sell” the stuff; he basically says, “I need you guys to place an order,” and he expects us to jump and write out a check. Family – what can you do, eh? Don’t answer that . . .

        Reply
  5. I watched Gaga and some of the commercials. There were some guys playing sportsball in between, but I was more interested in my Sudoku.

    The best way to help someone make money at Pampered Chef, or any of those MLM schemes, is to get them to quit. Those pyramids are designed to suck money out of the people at the bottom, and direct it to a tiny percentage of people at the top. I read that over 99% of people who get involved with MLMs wind up losing money. Between snacks, hostess gifts, mileage, motivational materials, sales materials, meetings, and the pressure to buy inventory that they will never sell, the parties are unlikely to produce enough income to make up for that outlay.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That honestly doesn’t surprise me at all. I feel like everyone who gets into it is a complete sucker. Then it results in hounding their personal friends and family. Who wants to force their all their close people into buying crap from them? I’ve never heard of 99% – but it seems about right to me!

      Reply
  6. I watched a Harry Potter marathon. I got updates on the game from everyone’s cheering and jeering on Facebook.

    I, too, suffer from migraines. I always HATE when people give me advice, but I’m going to suggest something to you anyway. I have done all the tricks. I have tried prescription medications, but the side effects of all of them are worse than the headaches themselves (in my experience). I have tried putting your hands and feet in warm water and putting something cold on your neck. I have tried munching ice. I have tried downing ridiculous amounts of caffeine. Etc etc etc.

    Recently, I (skeptically) started using essential oils. I had a massive four-day migraine over the weekend, and thankfully my headache blend oil that I had ordered showed up at my office yesterday. My diffuser had crapped out on me, so I just poured some on my hands and kept sniffing them for the next half hour or so. (Sniffing your hands at the office is almost as bad as nose picking.) And, it worked! Four days of misery over just like that. Definitely worth a try.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wow, that’s interesting. I don’t hate advice over migraines because I don’t get them very often. I’m not too familiar with them. I haven’t tried any of those home remedies before. (Except for the caffeine. That didn’t work) I’ll have to look into some oils.

      Reply
  7. I peed my pants watching the Christopher Walken and Justin Timberlake BAI commercial. I have always said that if my dad was gay, I would want my mom to be Christopher Walken… because, why not? And, I have a little crush on JT so that just made my life. Otherwise, I don’t give a EFF about the superbowl. I’m sorry you had a migraine and I hope you feel better! Maybe you have a large booger up there that needs to be dislodged to remove the pressure… just a thought.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thanks! I checked that commercial out on YouTube and I thought it was hilarious, too. That seems like it was the only funny one. I liked the bathroom break one, too. I think it was Febreze? I honestly have no idea lol

      Reply
  8. Hilarious….I just used a Pampered Chef knife to cut my apple! I didn’t want or need the damn thing but some coworker had a catalog party and I hoped it would offset my bitchiness to spend some money for her. And I didn’t watch or care about the Super Bowl. I made tacos and then watched murder shows on Investigation Discovery channel. Dead animals on tortillas and dead people on TV make me way happier than football. I am sorry to hear about your migraine though! A neurologist once told me the five main causes of migraines in women are hormones, hormones, hormones, diet and stress. I’d say “pray for menopause” but don’t. It’s miserable to be past your prime like me! 😀

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Okay, I thought I was the only one who loved those murder shows. Like ‘Cracked.’ Oh man, they are so good. I use to watch the marathons, but felt like I was creeping my husband out or something haha. And – your neurologist was probably right. Mine was 100% caused by PMS! GAH!

      Reply
  9. Who are these Patriots you speak of? Were they the opening act for Lady Gaga? Feel better Missy and keep buying random vegetable peelers and bizarre new beauty products because that his how polite society does things…and now more than ever, we need a little polite society.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Aw, I don’t like polite society. So boring 😀 Everyone was giving Lady Gaga crap about her performance – but when I watched it played back I thought she did pretty well! People are such haters

      Reply
  10. Blair, I have a confession to make. Uh….um…..I used to sell Pampered Chef. There it is!! Now you know!
    The Super Bowl – eh. We had a few people over but I lost interest in the game quickly when it looked like Atlanta was going to dominate the entire game. I didn’t even watch the half-time show.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Nooooooooooooo! Lol. Kidding 🙂 I’m curious if you made enough to offset what you spent in product? Those companies always seem like such a bad thing to get into.

      Reply
      1. The first reason I started selling Pampered Chef is so that I could get the “kit”. You know…..all the good stuff you want ( like the round stone, the food chopper, etc) for way cheaper than if you bought it. I only had to do 6 shows and I got to keep the “kit”. But I kept doing it for a while beyond the 6 shows. I’m not a good salesperson. I just cooked food and women ate it. If they thought they needed the tools I used during the show they purchased them. I made some money but nothing like they proclaim you will. If you do make lots of money, you’re working your butt off and pushing sales. That’s not me.

        Reply
  11. Good golly, I’d forgotten all about those Pampered Chef parties. I eventually came to the realization that I was just buying stuff so that I could pass it on to Goodwill. Once I ascended into this higher realm of rationalization, I actually tolerated the parties better. I was Doing Good for the Less Fortunate. Still, haven’t missed those parties…

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      You are much kinder than I am. I can’t bring myself to buy stuff if I know I’m never going to use it lol. I have to give you some mad props for that. Those parties are painful. I’m glad I have no local friends. All of our friends are from my husband’s childhood so they are all male. Phew.

      Reply
  12. I don’t know what a superbowl is. We don’t have them this side of the pond, unless you mean the massive basin I like to have my porridge in. Kitten Bowl sounds awesome – where can I get me some Kitten Bowl????? I pick my nose wherever and whenever I like, roll it into little balls and flick it.

    Reply
  13. So not a football fan! Watched show I recorded some time ago – documentary on Mavis Staples. Wotta singer! Learned that Bob Dylan once proposed to her. But she said no!
    Poor you with that awful headache!!! Were you finally able to medicate it away? Hope so!!
    Now, to unsee all those nose-picking comments. Ay yi!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Embrace the nose picking! It’s actually quite a fun pastime 😀 Just kidding. My headache went away on its own thankfully. Damn hormones!

      Reply
  14. Ugh…haven’t been to one of those “sales parties” for a while now. We all bought into the social pressure at first. Once you take yourself out of the loop, the invitations decline. I always watch the Super Bowl, usually care about the teams, not so much lately, and the commercials used to be noteworthy. Something about this year was dark, much like the mood of the times. There were a few exceptions, but, still…mostly violent video games and movie previews. Sad.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Yeah, that’s terrible. My husband said there were way too many action movie trailers. Years ago they used to be so much better! I don’t know what happened.

      Reply
  15. Oh man I needed that! THANK YOU for the belly laughs!! I’ve spent the last 42 hours without power and 40 degrees in my house, worried that my cats and bugs will die from hypothermia and pissed that I can not shower or use my computer!! Oh poor me, eh?

    So for relief, we came to my semi-estranged sister’s house where there is power and internet just to hear about their recent trip to Nepal to visit their daughter who is on a mission there. My sister and husband spent a month living in 3rd world country conditions and can’t figure out why I’m such a selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed bitch…..

    Am I smart or what? Hey, it’s warm here…

    Anyway, more later but not about picking my nose. About MY headache! (winky face here…)

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Did they actually call you those things?! I’d punch a bunch if she said that to me. Sister or not lol. I’m sure your kitties will be okay – they can crawl under the blankets and such. Bugs I have no idea! I hope you get power soon and run away from your sister’s house lol.

      Reply
  16. Pampered Chef Party? What the actual giblets is that? Three random words shoved together that make no apparent sense. Well, two can play at that game. I plan to host a Despondent Cat Gathering.
    So glad that your Super Bowl thing is on at stupid o’clock GMT on a Sunday night because it means I will never catch a glimpse of it. I used to think 5-day test cricket was tedious until I saw a bit of grid-iron. The commentators are probably the worst part: constant verbal diarrhoea about things I don’t understand which makes me appreciate the light-touch of most British sports commentators (sometimes, less is more). I tried watching it with the sound off but then realised I still had no clue what the hell was happening. Vaguely like Rugby League but with more pauses, spare players, gaudy razzamatazz and adverts. I think you made the right choice between that and a migraine.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Pampered Chef is one of those companies that people sell from their home. It’s usually pointless crap nobody wants. The same as Mary Kay, Avon, It Works, Rodan & Fields, etc. (Not sure which ones you have over there!) It does seem like 3 random words though haha. I like Despondent Cat Gathering. THAT sounds like fun.

      Reply
      1. We’ve had Avon for donkey’s years but not heard of the others. Pointless tangentially related fact: Avon is the name of a major English river (as in Stratford-on-Avon, Shakespeare’s birthplace). But it’s actually taken from the Celtic Brythonic language meaning ‘river’. So the River Avon is in fact the River River. 🙂

        Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That sounds nice. I’ve always thought it was weird they use the name Botox for other medical reasons. Couldn’t they come up with some better/different? lol

      Reply
  17. We don’t have regular network TV. I “watched” the Super Bowl via my Facebook feed which was hilarious. I have some friends that think that popular quarterback is a God and others that think he is a lying cheating son of Satan. So funny – the opposite ends. I heard Lady Gaga was awesome, so I spend an embarrassing amount of time trying to find the performance online. I might have enjoyed it more if it didn’t take me “forever” to find it and have to suffer through so many annoying ads (ya know webpages these days) to see it.

    I hope you are feeling better.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you 🙂 I’m feeling much better now. I had to hunt her performance down, as well. I thought she did pretty well even though all I heard from people was that she sucked lol. A bit harsh!

      Reply
  18. I didn’t even realize that the superbowl was happening till I went to the grocery store on Sunday and had to fight people for chips. I wasn’t even there for chips, I was there for salad! But everyone was buying chips and I didn’t want to be the loser without chips on Sunday. That would’ve been SAD.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha that would have been ridiculously sad. It’s rough being left out. I would have probably done the same and I don’t eat chips. Peer pressure.

      Reply
  19. I hope you are feeling better, Blair. We watched the Super Bowl & frankly I found it to be rather dull. Until near the end, of course. The commercials were lame, the half time show was meh. I do like Gaga but I would have rather watched something else.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you, I’m feeling much better now 🙂 Phew. Yeah, I heard the whole ‘feeling’ of the game + commercials was quite lackluster this year. Sad!

      Reply
  20. Sure hope you feel much better soon and the party in your head goes away. I am lucky that way. In Latvia I don’t have to go to any Super Bowl party unless I want to which for a significant amount of money is held in various bars in the city. Being part of the older crowd I don’t have to worry that I’ll be missed because only the younger crowd attends these very loud and obnoxious bar parties.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you, I’m feeling much better now 🙂 The party in my head has disbursed. Phew. You aren’t missing much not going to a Super Bowl party – that’s for sure!

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      The only thing I did was lay in a completely dark room and take some extra strength Tylenol lol. Mine is caused by hormones and usually goes away on its own within a day or two. They really are terrible, though. It doesn’t happen often, though. Maybe every 3 months.

      Reply
  21. OK, so I’m gonna talk about the poll. Answer 3 or C or whatever about doing it in front of everyone? For the record, I didn’t Pick that…lol…get it…lol. But anyhoo, my co-worker honest to god saw this the other day… I hear her standing at the huge picture window just after lunch while looking out at our very public city block say, “Oh my god… Oh my god!…Oh my god-oh my god-oh my god-oh my god!” At which point she threw herself away from the window with covered eyes and bent in two. And she said, “That SO gross! I can’t believe I just saw that! Oh my god!!!”
    So I, of course said, “What?!!!!!!” (Yes, that many !)
    She answered, relishing every cruel pause and watching my face for every reaction, “I saw the guy that works across the street walking on the sidewalk from his car. He went like this (Imagine hand shoved down back of pants way to far – but in her case quickly pulled out again with no party foul)…..”Ew,” I say. “…. and then scrounged around his butt a whole bunch…..” “EW!!” I say. “…..And then smelled his fingers like this! (Imagine smelling fingers full on – oh my god!) and then walk into the door to work.” “OH MY GOD! EW-EW-EW-EW! OH MY GOD!!!!!” I shrieked. Oh my god. Still can’t believe it.
    So I guess those of you who want to pick your nose in front of me, pick away. It will no longer faze me, I’m too jaded to care now.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Hahaha, that’s going a bit too far. Maybe he thought he crapped himself on the way to work? Best to dig up in there and be sure before you walk around with a shit stain on your pants in front of your boss 😀 Haha

      Reply
  22. “I’m assuming they are dancing, flailing them around, and getting a little stabby with each other while Hitler and Hussein invade each other’s territories in the bedroom.”

    THE GREATEST LINE I HAVE READ IN A LONG TIME

    Reply

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