there are no boobs here

Random-As-Shit Thursday Thoughts

1. I’m going to be honest here – you guys scare me sometimes. Not the majority, but more so the people that land on my blog by random search terms. I don’t know why people are searching for ‘shameful awkward mom porn’ or ‘sheep boobs’ and landing on my page, but there is zero porn here. Zip. Nada. I’m pretty sure I’ve never even talked here about sex before. Is that what Google thinks of me? They lump me in with the porn sites so I’m attracting all the perverse freaks of the internet? Maybe I should give them what they want. I can start posting pictures of sheep boobs. Here you go, weirdos.


2. I keep seeing online that people are calling Lady Gaga ‘fat’ and saying she had a ‘pot belly’ during her halftime performance the other day. What the hell is wrong with people? I wish I could drag everyone who said this crap by their hair and smash their face into a vat of horse semen. (Okay, now I’m starting to understand why I get the porn lovers.)

If this is fat, then I must be the size of Hagrid when he’s nine months pregnant. 

3. I really don’t care if you hate that I swear or not. It drives me crazy that people purposely stalk my posts and go out of their way to tell me how bad of a person I am multiple times a week through comments because I throw a swear word or two into my writing. IT’S A WORD, PEOPLE. I’m not hurting anybody. It’s not like I’m going into public and telling kids to go fuck themselves and punching them in the face. Not that it’s any of your goddamn business if I was. I’m 30. Not 12. I don’t need lectures from people twice my age like they’re my mother. I’ve had to block TWO people this week from my site due to them doing this for nearly a year now. If the ban didn’t work – hopefully they will see this and kindly f u c k o f f. (End rant.)


  1. Thanks for the like and follow. I like your style. I did a “piece” a while back with a certain political figure’s name in the title and got over 600 hits in 2 days (my average is a mere 15 per day). Talk about porn chasers. I don’t need this kind of attention, either. I think these same people may also be searching for “sheep boobs” and landing on your page. So I feel your pain.

    Thanks again!

  2. lol ! Great entry. Some of us find you because you were kind enough to visit us. I love the title “Shameful Sheep.” Odd, I thought it was interesting and creative title, not off color. I agree, what are people actually searching for when they find your site!!?

  3. Fuckin’ love it. Btw the guy above’s comment reminded me of how, in college, a few friend’s & I tried to come up with the grossest idea for porn imaginable, and then use it as the high bar to measure everything else against. And so, Siamese Amputee Midget Porn was born. Well, not literally, thank God – just the name. If we liked something a lot, we would enthusiastically call it ‘Sampy’.

    God, we were such brats. We entertained ourselves, I guess.

    Anyway, love the site, and the sheep boobs. Maybe butts next time? Possibly channelling Tina Belcher there. Keep up the good work!

  4. I got one, somebody from India looking for “crosseyed embarrassed girls”. Go figure that one. Maybe it was the guy who said “Thank you for that information” so many times I hung up and changed cable companies.

  5. Thank you for the follow 🙂 For what it’s worth, I love your brutal sassiness when you write. Who cares if you swear sometimes? It’s your voice anyway. I can’t believe people are looking for “sheep boobs”. Although my brother has told me people have typed in “fish sex” and come to his sight 😂


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