hell hath rained down upon us

Random-As-Shit Thursday Thoughts

Long before I started this blog, I had a baking blog. SURPRISE! If I could do anything when I grow up (forget for a moment that I’m 30, married, and spend the majority of my nights knitting as I watch Golden Girls reruns like a crotchety old woman) besides writing, I would be a chef/baker. I’ve thought about revisiting the old blog a lot lately, but… I have a serious problem. What the hell do I do with all the shit I make? I can’t eat all that sugar. I don’t understand how people who are baking things three times a week at home avoid weighing 600 pounds? Where does it go? Who can I pawn stuff off to? WHAT DO I DO? 

I’ve made a dire mistake. I offered my brother-in-law and his family of five to stay in our house for a few weeks. They are moving out of a rental house and buying one, but for some reason the bank has put a short delay on the loan process. I was in a good mood and trying to be extra kind for a change, but the second I got home the panic set in. What did I get myself into? As someone with pretty severe social anxiety, having five extra people in my house 24/7 is the stuff of nightmares. How am I going to avoid them without seeming rude? *Deep breath* 32 days left until we are invaded by messy children and hell rains down on the Sheep household. Pray for us.

I would rather have my nipples bit by ravenous mosquitoes than go to the gym, but I’ve been making a concentrated effort lately because I wanted to kick off February strong. Now, to preface this story, I have to let y’all know I have a severe bathroom phobia. When you throw in the ‘gym’ factor – where every ass that touches the seat is smelly and covered in sweat – it gets a thousand times worse. I had to pee so badly yesterday, but I thought it would be smarter to hold it. Well, that was until I got to the squat machine and peed myself a little. Yep, I peed myself. In public. Like a three-year-old who didn’t want to use the potty. For shame. 

168 Comments

  1. I just told a friend on facebook that it’s a good thing I wore my Depends today after she made a funny Ice Ice Baby joke. That is a real thing. Your post reminds me of the quote about how fish and houseguests are only good for two days. My in-laws go out-laws at two days. And I feel you on public restrooms. It’s like walking into a humid room of Hep C and lowgrade fever. Gross. I have been hovering since the 80s. That thin paper is no barrier, and who has time to lay it down like a fitted sheet that will never conform? Ali Wong said it best in Baby Cobra, talking about housewives have that nice skin-to-seat pee that working women don’t. I don’t miss the office. Good luck at the gym. My husband’s a Jim; that’s as close as I’ll get.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha, it’s all good! I have a tendency to pee myself when I can’t stop laughing. 69 is going to be a rough age for me. I’m already well into the ‘mistakes’ category. Eek

      Reply
  2. I totally get you about baking. When I baked 2 times a week, my husband was giving the majority of my creations to his colleagues at work. Now that I stopped for a while, they are asking why does not he bring anything anymore:)

    Reply

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