the crevice from hell

I have a seriously high butt crack. I know that’s a weird thing to put as a first sentence of a post, but I’m going with it. Because it’s true…. and quite unfortunate unless you like to give out free peeks to poor unsuspecting people any time you bend over or lift your arms. She’s like an overly friendly sorority girl who can’t keep her shit straight and her clothes on – everyone gets a show. Yes, it’s a she.

My niece was telling me how she was uncomfortable with her knobby knees over the weekend, and I decided to share my woes about my crevice-from-hell with her. I thought it would make her laugh because kids are supposed to find butts funny. Instead she told me I was the grossest person she’s ever talked to. The grossest. Harsh words, right? I mean, I can’t change the size of it. Sure, sometimes I eat food after it falls on the floor or wait a little longer than I should to shave my legs… but the grossest? Damn.

On a serious note – 

Does anyone else find it sickening that we’re cultivating a society where girls as young as 10 (probably younger in some cases) look in the mirror and are already picking out things they hate about themselves? Their skin is too pale, their foreheads are too long, too fat, too skinny, or maybe they have too many freckles. At ten years old they are thinking this. This is a little early, don’t you think? We are the cause of this. It’s sad. This is way too young. 

 

 

127 Comments

  1. I was thinking that today… My sister showed me a picture of her lunch – a smoothie. By rights I should be the one on a diet but I actually like myself so I am losing weight but by exercising and not trying to overeat. I don’t starve myself. I realised I can’t remember a time my sister hasn’t been on a diet. Even a a young child she would be so upset about her body image. It’s so bad… When all you have to do is love who you are.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I feel like a lot of people are serial dieters like your sister. It’s sad. If only it was easier for people to love themselves.

      Reply
  2. Oh my, how funny. God created male and female to constantly change, from our covering of skin to our bones. I wish we had a fast forward of egg and sperm to aged and ready for our eternal home. I never thought about it when I was young, now that I’m 77 on 02/25, I see the changes. I often think I came in the world helpless and I’m going forward toward the state of an infant. None of us can escape.

    Reply
  3. It’s not just girls. My son is 8 and does the same thing. This outfit is ugly. You want me to look ugly. I’m like “Dude, you’re the best dressed kid in school. What’s the problem?” I’m really concerned that we are raising a generation of children that don’t see or appreciate their own value.

    Reply
  4. I have a high butt crack as well! My husband is constantly making jokes about it!

    YES, that is too young to be judging themselves. Unfortunately at 10 I was doing the same. We have to learn to be comfortable in our own bodies and set an example!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Ha! My husband does the same. Except his is SEMI-high, too. We are convinced when we have kids their butt cracks are going to go up to their shoulder blades. Poor kids. I honestly think most people think of it at a super young age – it’s terrible.

      Reply
  5. That is so weird. Seriously. I mean, because of my ridiculous waist to hip ratio my jeans never fit right and I sometimes give an unintended show when I sit down, but I think my crack is right where it’s supposed to be.

    When I was ten, the neighborhood kids called me monster feet because I sometimes wore sandals in which my abnormally wide feet spilled over the edges, and because kids are jerks. I was worried about my feet for years. I’m still not crazy about them.

    I think it’s pretty common to find parts of yourself attractive or unattractive, even at a young age, but it’s the matter of degree that makes it healthy or unhealthy. Ideally, we wouldn’t all be so focused on ourselves, or what we look like, but shit is what it is.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I agree, I think it’s natural for people to not be totally happy with every single aspect of themselves – there’s something that sets it off for it to get to an extreme. I would trade you my boring feet for your normal butt crack.

      Reply
  6. We should make a new Barbie with my floppy boob sports bra cleavage that comes up to my chin and your high butt crack. We could call it Crevice Barbie. And let’s give her knobby knees, monster feet and whatever other body features we hate. Then make 5 different sexy Ken dolls that adore her. Phoning Shark Tank right now….

    Reply
    1. It is funny and sad how we can be so self-critical and how obsessed with appearance our culture is. I would SO contribute to a Kickstarter to create Crevice Barbie, and then I’d buy them for all my nieces!

      Reply
      1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

        Agreed! I feel like we could travel around to school and hand out Crevice Barbies to all the girls in their health classes lol.

        Reply
    2. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Okay, I LOVE this idea haha. I would totally get on board with this. Now it’s time to find some investors. The best part is the male worship. Big fan.

      Reply
  7. It is dreadful that girls do this however as a former young man I can only speak from my perspective. I know as a boy I disliked many things about my physical appearance and I held onto those beliefs for a long time. While I do believe more girls are more prone to it and I do not want to take away from the significance of that I can only speak from my perspective. I wonder how many men and boys dislike their looks but are too afraid to say anything about it because that wouldn’t be masculine.
    Just my two cents worth

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, it DEFINITELY goes both ways. I should have added boys in, too, I was just basing it off my experience the other day. Male eating disorders are becoming more popular right along with female. It really works both ways. It’s a shame for boys and girls of any age to be uncomfortable/dislike themselves based off appearance. The fear of not being masculine enough just adds a whole new layer to it because I’m sure it happens.

      Reply
      1. You need not add boys too. You were speaking from your perspective and I spoke from mine. At the end of the day we just need to love and be supportive and hope for some good luck along the way. <3

        Reply
  8. Anonymous

    Amen! Why do we put kids in the place where they need to question their bodies? They’ll do that, naturally, on their own anyway! No need for us to influence them earlier!

    Reply
  9. Beauty is always on the inside… Why is ‘the world’ still convincing them they are not ok? That they are never beautiful enough… It is all behind the eyes really… It has nothing to do with the body you were born in…
    The world; it is us. Change is in our hands…

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I mean, I like them as well. Just not when they are up to your shoulder blades. (Not that mine are – just an extreme exaggeration lol)

      Reply
  10. Kim

    Yes, it IS sad……the part about young girls, not your butt crack…..we, as adults, need to be sure to instill in them the fact that if they’re happy in their own skin, that will show through as their own individualized beauty – regardless of shape, size, color, or what clothes we choose to wear! And, we need to stop allowing the Kim Kardashians and Beyonces, etc of the world dictate what constitutes beauty! OK – soap box neatly stored back in the closet!

    And, as for the butt crack…..well, maybe a well place tattoo will help make it a joy to share with others! hehehe

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh man, don’t get me started on the Kardashians and their waist trainers, numerous plastic surgery, limp plumpers, sex tapes, etc. This is what kids are being subjected to. IT’S MADDENING! Really. And, that’s a great idea – I love tattoos and have been meaning to get another soon lol.

      Reply
  11. I’ve never checked the height of my butt crack…I’m gonna go out on a limb, here, and say mine is probably not absurdly high…

    The body shaming culture is a sad by-product of our surface-only culture. People are judged not on WHO they are, but what they are. It’s been a thing for a lot longer than I’ve been putting feet on dirt, and will continue after my feet are under that same soil…unless society as a whole can get it’s head out of its collective butt crack…

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Man, let’s hope society gets farted on soon and wakes up. I don’t see it changing in my lifetime, but man… I WISH it would.

      Reply
  12. You are freaking hilarious. I know people with this . . . “crack problem” (see what I did there?) and I appreciate you being so open about it. You’re so right about being self-conscious about our bodies and how young girls feel. It’s interesting how we love our flawed mother and think she’s beautiful or any other woman/person that we may look up to who don’t hold Hollywood’s beauty standards. Perhaps it does stem from what we see on TV and how we, the consumer, even hold celebs to a certain standard with regards to their appearance. I have noticed a change lately. There are some very normal-looking people on the tube making lots of money these days. Perhaps a change is coming. In the meantime, I think it’s important to share your flaws with these young children, especially if they look up to you, and embrace them as you have. We have enough issues. We shouldn’t be so self-conscious and critical of others. Let’s just live and find beauty in everything and everyone. Especially the brain 🙂

    Reply
  13. Hilarious! And then . . . oh, hell, yeah. That this is still happening to young girls is so depressing. But then, and excuse the political reference, but, we have a president who told his first wife he could never be attracted to a woman after she’d had a child and who called a former beauty queen a fat pig. I could go on and on in that vein, but more importantly, I guess all we can do is keep working at promoting a healthy body image for women. It’s going to take a few lifetimes, I think.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      You’re right – it’s depressing. What a great person for young women/kids to look up to and look to for leadership. Ugh.

      Reply
  14. Just so you know, I am making this comment before even reading past the title and very first line. I can’t wait to read it now. I really must get you to help me with titles!! I want more readers! And yours are fool proof. How can anyone NOT read “the crevice from hell”???

    Reply
  15. Yes I think it’s awful that 10 y.o. girls are self-criticizing themselves. Let kids be kids, there’s time enough later to worry about personal imperfections… like extra long vertical smiles.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I have to buy one piece bathing suits, it keeps it easier to have my butt crack length stay a mystery. It would NOT stay hidden in a two piece – not a chance. Same with thongs. I’ve found a brand or two that are long enough to go up my back, but most I would have to pull up too high and cut the circulation off my vag. (I share too much ha!)

      Reply
        1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

          I hope not. Although mine has fallen asleep and got pins and needles once for sitting on the toilet for too long. I was distracted reading something. 😀 Had to share, anyway.

          Reply
  16. OK, I read it and it’s less funny than I expected, but way, WAY more important. My perspective (as a psychotherapist of almost 40 years dealing with eating disorders, etc.) is that we all contribute to this image problem, and most of us, unknowingly! The way we dress, the way we shop, the way we perceive, the words and terms we use. It is a cultural epidemic.

    Please forgive the lecture but even in all these delightful responses there is evidence of how unconscious we can be about our unknown bias. Referring to imperfections, or flaws or what normal looks are/should be…even the term “body image”? What the hell??? Why are these things any different from ALL individual characteristics?? Hair, eye, skin color, height, body shape, etc.

    And it is NOT natural to question or criticise body parts, except maybe about how they friggin’ WORK. Those are LEARNED questions! And yes, really hard to avoid, but still learned…which means they can be unlearned.

    Someone above did not put their soap box far enough back into the closet. so I borrowed it.

    Am I banned now from your site Blair???

    Reply
    1. Just BRAVO to you for your post. I wd be very surprised if you were Blair-banned!

      At one stage of my life I have decided that I am what I am – I’m no longer a fresh, cracking, beautiful kid, I’m overweight but I am happy and if I must die a tad earlier than if maybe I had less weight to carry around, so be it. I nearly had a heart failure reading that now 8yrs old have a body image problem – this is SO sad. When I had kids, the perceived problem was the right clothes brand, but everything else was ok-ish. This 2nd part of the post nearly knocked the breath out of me.
      (Sorry to have hijacked your comment for my rant – but I haven’t got the energy to do another one)

      Reply
      1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

        I don’t think I’ll ever ban anyone! Unless they are being hateful towards someone. It really is heartbreaking at 8 years old, right? Terrible. Something needs to change.

        Reply
    2. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      You will never be banned – YOU GAVE ME SHEEP SOCKS! Hahaha. No, really though, I agree with you. You are allowed to stand on your soap box, because I brought up a serious subject! 🙂 You’re right – I actually thought it kind of was natural to question flaws, etc., but… the more I think of it – it’s not. Everyone is different, and that’s what people should be taught from the very beginning.

      Reply
  17. Maybe your butt crack isn’t high but your pants are low? They don’t make those jeans for us voluptuous chicks. Tell your niece she is wonderful the way she is. Keep telling her. Tell yourself your butt is fun. Keep telling yourself. I know it was fun reading about it!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, it’s definitely my butt crack, not the pants lol! I’m okay with it – the only problem is my husband has a semi-high one as well, so we’ve come to the conclusion when we have kids their butt cracks will probably be up to their shoulder blades. Oops.

      Reply
  18. There is a butt crack standard ??? I had no idea. When the “big butt” came into fashion, I was at a loss. Mine is like that of a 11 year old boy, only flatter.

    Yes, our kids all start too young to analyze body parts. They are surrounded with images, now more than ever, and under constant self-criticism. The internet just makes it worse.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I agree, it’s terrible. Especially with the people media like to highlight and celebrate for being ‘beautiful’ like the Kardashians. 90% purchased outer appearance. Ick.

      Reply
  19. Blair; for every comment I make I’m being informed that the FORM IS NOT SECURE – Are you sure you want to go on? (Or something to that effect). I never had any problems with WordPress, so why with you? It can’t be the titles of your last two posts 🙂 🙂

    Reply
  20. I believe the media is the perpetrator. There is a constant barrage of non stop articles & pictures designed to let women & little girls know that they aren’t perfect unless they look like a walking Barbie doll.

    Reply
  21. Helplessly laughing at her comment after you tried to, you know, relate, to her knees. I know. I should say something supportive, but really, it’s just too funny 🙂

    Myself, i thought I looked so ugly at age 10, a pale pickled herring, with blood veins showing through the face of my skin. yeah, it started early.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      It’s okay, it was pretty funny. I laughed at her response, too, then was slightly offended for a millisecond 😀 Wow, a pale pickled herring with blood veins in their face – that sounds intense. 10 is a rough age.

      Reply
  22. you are so fortunate, you got the crevice from hell gene, a rare gene indeed. on top of that you’ve been gifted with another gene, the grossest gene. the two of them together is indeed rare. only 3 other people on planet earth are known to have this combination. i hope you can wear this badge with pride.

    on a more serious note…kids aren’t allowed to be kids any more. from an early age they are judged and graded. “honey, fix your hair,” “honey, straighten your shirt,” are subtle signs that we don’t fit in and kids are thaught it is good to fit in.

    we learn from the world around us…aunt suzie says she wants to lose a few pounds. uncle fred says he doesn’t like his double chin. these are all subtle signs that the people around us don’t fit it.

    people, children are prescriptive, really, and they pick up on this and they learn to judge themselves by other people’s standards. that is what puts the ten year old in front of the mirror judging and grading themselves. they’re thinking they’re are a little chubby, their smile is crooked or their eyes are brown, not blue. all are judgements.

    i remember one time my wife said about a friend’s child, “she getting a little chubby.” that’s a judgement, indeed. thankfully she said that to me and not the daughter. you know what? that chubby little girl has grown up to be a tall, slender attractive young women.

    see the subtleness, i loaded her up with a bunch of judgements. the point i’m trying to make is sometimes momentary judgements, made to make things better can make things worse. on top of the that, the momentary judgements, like by friend’s daughter self correct.

    one of the best gifts that any child can be given can be summed up in the words of fred rodgers:

    It’s you I like,
    It’s not the things you wear,
    It’s not the way you do your hair–
    But it’s you I like
    The way you are right now,
    The way down deep inside you–
    Not the things that hide you,
    Not your toys–
    They’re just beside you.

    But it’s you I like–
    Every part of you,
    Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
    Whether old or new.
    I hope that you’ll remember
    Even when you’re feeling blue
    That it’s you I like,
    It’s you yourself,
    It’s you, it’s you I like

    parents, i plead with you, do what ever you can to teach your children to be individuals and be okay with themselves, like mr. rodger sez. our world needs to learn to cut down on unhealthy personal judgements.

    there i go again, writing a novel in reply to someone post. ah, another judgement. damn.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      It was a novel, but it was a great reply. I agree with EVERYTHING you’re saying. And I love that quote you put in, too 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to give such a well-thought-out response, I wish everyone would heed and read it.

      Reply
  23. Are we kindred spirits? Because I have been very concerned of a patch of dry skin right where my butt crack begins at the top! With your high butt crack and my dry butt crack, we could be millionaires! Well, maybe not. 🙂 And I just realized that might have sounded dirty. I am not a perv! On a more serious note I agree with you. My daughter, at the age of 10 or 11, was worried about her ‘skinny’ legs. Then when she started to go through puberty, started crying about her thighs getting too ‘fat’. Honest to god, her legs look fine to me. And I told her this. But it does not seem to matter what I tell her. It’s everything that goes on around in this world! Very sad.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I think we are definitely kindred spirits. Just think of all the opportunities that would arrive if we combined our butts. It would be legendary. That’s a shame about your daughter – I don’t even know her, but I’m sure her legs are perfect the way they are.

      Reply
  24. I love this, Blair. First off, I would have appreciated your butt crack statement, even if your niece didn’t 🙂

    But seriously though, I agree that it is totally messed up and sad and scary how self critical young children are of their appearances. Like, when I was ten, I don’t remember ever having a thought like that. it makes me wonder how I will handle it with my kids whenever I’m a mom.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Right? I’m impressed you didn’t think stuff like that at 10! I have vivid memories of self hatred that young. Man, I’m the same as you, makes me think about how my future children will be and HOPE I handle it correctly.

      Reply
  25. Nyx

    It’s awful. I was perfectly fine with my (admittedly overweight) body for a lot of my childhood. Then the females in my ‘family’ decided to induct me into the CULT OF WEIGHT LOSS. I can’t even blame media for my screwed up body views.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh jeez, some people seriously have no idea how to keep their nose out of other people’s business. If you were fine, then who cares? Gah.

      Reply
  26. Ours is not an accepting society–especially for women–and never has been. We are always too this or too that, and the “acceptable standard” is either out of reach or totally ridiculous. I have no intention of starving myself to embrace someone else’s “ideal” of what I “ought” to look like. We need to teach our daughters to use their mirrors not as a means to find their so-called flaws, but to appreciate and love each individual’s beauty.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      100% agree. That’s all a mirror needs to be used for. It’s a harsh world out there, the only way to properly get through is to love yourself. (Well, there are other ways – but it would be the happiest)

      Reply
  27. That was really funny. I feel like if I wear low rise jeans I get crack. If I fix the problem, that would result in having to wear mom jeans. The happy medium I guess is wearing a longer shirt? IDK. #firstworldproblems

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Yep, my jeans aren’t low-rise, but I try to wear long shirts anyways. They hide my semi-mom-jeans. I don’t want to fully transition in to full momjeandom. Scary.

      Reply
  28. I remember becoming convinced that I was fat, at the age of 7. I was the beginning of an eating disorder that I lived with for most of my life and am only now, at the age of 36, starting to think of as being genuinely in the past.

    The thing is, having looked at pictures of myself during the years when I believed myself to be fat, obese, massive, huge, other-words-meaning-large, I don’t understand where the disconnect between how I was and how I saw myself even came from.

    And the mess in my head and the weirdness of all the accompanying behaviours never felt that unusual at the time because they actually weren’t. They weren’t good or healthy but they also weren’t usual. Which is the saddest thing of all.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      7?? Wow, that’s terribly young. I’m sorry you had to deal with that for so long. It’s really terrible how young it starts affecting people. Ugh

      Reply
  29. Completely agree. It is too young to think like that. But are we being good role models to kids like that? Are we telling them it is okay to not be perfect? I think that is the question which should be asking ourselves.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, I agree. It’s definitely not being handled the way it should be in a lot of cases. There is definitely two different sides.

      Reply
  30. Probably just spent 2 hours of my life reading god only knows how many of your blog posts. I’ve literally LOLed so many times my family probably thinks I’m hysterical randomly laughing at my phone. Definitely subscribing…you’re too funny not to!

    Reply
  31. Drivel O A Hot Mess

    You are a crack up (has that already been said?). One of my best friends has a very high cracking and she is pretty gross…..but not because of her butt cracking affliction. She’s gross because she loves to talk about hemmorhoids, farts, burps, skin tags, and diarrhea. Yes, that’s the kind of company that I keep. She’s gorgeous, awesome, and a lunatic. I say embrace yourself and all your crack glory! My daughter is reaching that age of discovering things about herself that aren’t “perfect”. But I think I have done something right for once because she seems to have a very healthy and realistic view of herself. She is very balanced and I’m so proud of her for that. I was a mess at that age because I had a “friend” that constantly put me down and destroyed any self-esteem that I could have had. It has stayed with me to this day. Girls are hard on themselves because they are hard on each other. This is something that I have never tolerated with my daughter or her friends. No one is allowed to put each other down (unless someone has an epic fart and needs to be made fun of 😉). I think that too few parents teach their kids to build their friends up. And then of course there’s the media, but don’t get me started on that.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wait… I’m pretty sure I’m your friend you’re talking about – I like to talk about all that stuff, too. Ha! Oh yeah, I agree – girls (kids in general, really) are way too hard on each other. I’m glad your daughter is level-headed. I hope my future daughter(s) have the same outlook as yours.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: