don’t be like Judy

I like to think I’m a mature adult even though I’m 100% guilty of randomly losing my shit in laughter over things like farts and people falling down. What can I say? Sometimes it’s hard to keep your cool when farts sound like quacking ducks and when you get to witness first hand someone so engrossed in their phone that they trip over their own feet. I love to watch  as their phone flies into a nearby puddle and everyone stops what they are doing and stares at them like they are their pathetic Aunt Judy who had too much to drink and wet herself on Thanksgiving last year. Everyone has a crazy family member like that. Judy never learns, does she? Damn it, Judy! For shame.

 I’m the self-proclaimed queen of laughing at inappropriate times. It’s not immaturity, though, right? Maybe I just have a great sense of humor. That’s it. That’s what I’m going with.

awkwardlaugh

In late June, Alex and I went on a road trip to Michigan to go to my cousin’s wedding. Honestly, I’m not close to my extended family. At all. We live far apart and I have more in common with my neighbor’s pet rabbit that eats it’s own poop than I have with the majority of them. They are nice people, though, and since we turned down the last two wedding invitations, we felt obligated to make an appearance this time. We crammed a lot of driving into a short period, and by the time the wedding ceremony rolled around… we were exhausted. I was well into the zone of being sorely overtired. When I get to that point- I have severe issues controlling myself. You know, when you’re so tired you would probably succumb to laughter even over something as lame as a popsicle-stick-joke. It’s tough for me. Really tough.

So, when the girl in the pew in front of us was audibly complaining to her mom about her tights making her underwear ride up her butt, I couldn’t help it. She was soon deep up there, digging a wedgie out for a solid minute. Fingers jammed up her butt as she danced around in place trying to get it free. I lost it. In the middle of a quiet church ceremony that was actually quite beautiful and romantic. The mood was ruined. Everyone turned and stared at me in abject horror. I could feel the death stares burning holes through my skin. It was awkward as hell. I grabbed my shit and got out of there while I still had a little self-respect left.

That was the day I came to the sad realization that I’m the Judy of my family. Not that I’ve wet myself on a holiday yet, but I’m only 29. There’s still time to accomplish that goal.theresalwaysone

 

Silver lining – maybe I won’t be invited to any more weddings.

(Random note – 16 more days left until Fall! I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of it being so hot I can’t step outside without my nipples feeling like they are roasting off. Woo, hurry up, Fall!)

97 Comments

  1. I am 100% with you on the “laughing at inappropriate times. I think even fully awake, I would not have been able to stifle giggles at that situation. Bonus on the no further invitations though! 🙂 Welcome back!

    Reply
  2. My sister is the Judy of the family and we call it ILS (Inappropriate Laughter Syndrome). She laughs mostly when those she loves are injured because of a fall, being bucked off a horse, or being hit in the face with some random object. It really doesn’t matter what causes the injury – it’s just funny to her for some reason. As far as I know, she has never wet herself.

    Did you at least get to eat wedding cake?

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Your sister sounds badass lol. I think we’d get along! I like her style. Yes, I got wedding cake and got to enjoy the open bar. Probably for the last time at a family function 🙂

      Reply
  3. People like you are the best, at formal occasions. I hate formality. So it’s a welcome relief when someone bursts out laughing, farts loudly, or does anything else to break up the grand, stolid atmosphere.

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  4. Blair, the uncontrollable urge to laugh. Once it starts it is like a tidal wave you cannot stop. You did remind me of an old joke about the husband who came home from church with two black eyes.

    His wife, who did not go, asked “what happened?”

    He said, “We stood to sing and the woman in front had her dress stuck in her crack, so I pulled it down and she slugged me.”

    “Well how did you get the other black eye?” she asked

    “Well, I thought she wanted it back the way it was,” he said.

    Have a great day. At least you made an impression on your cousin’s in-laws.
    Keith

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  5. I take issue with this. Laughing at farts is not immature, despite what your mother may have told you it is indicative of someone who is both big and clever.

    Hope you enjoy missing the next wedding.

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  6. I was making lemonade this weekend. The kind that comes from a frozen can. I filled the pitcher half way with water first. As I gently manipulated the can to get the frozen syrupy contents out it finally let go with a “SSSSSHHHHlurp…. splash”. My (adult) daughter and I looked at each other for a few seconds and then erupted into uncontrollable laughter. The kind where you can’t breathe. We couldn’t look at each other for the rest of the day without laughing. Geez I love her.

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  7. Pan

    You should start an Aunt Judy club 😂
    I’d join, if you Judys would have me.. I have to disclose that I’m the black sheep of my family, as well as the Aunt Judy.. and I have had an “episode” involving alcohol..
    I’m much older than you, so yes, you have time to catch up in “judisms” 😉

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That club would be full of the most entertaining people, right? Maybe I should invest in creating the Judy club. Since you’ve wet yourself, you can be my co-founder! Yeah!! haha

      Reply
  8. I hope my neighbour was already awake, or else my giggling through that post would have most certainly woke him up!!

    I used to have the uncontrollable laughters too. That was a great time in my life and I’m not exactly sure what happened to make them leave but I kinda want them back!

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  9. Oh my gosh this was hysterical. I literally laughed out loud because I”m 46 and I the SAME way.. I laugh at THE most inappropriate times like, funerals, people falling make me roar with laughter.. LOL Sorry, it doesn’t get better as you get older.. LOL

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I’m glad it made you laugh 😀 People falling KILLS me. I always end up laughing before making sure they are okay. I’m not a good person hahaha.

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Poo-Pourri… does it actually work?! I’m sickly tempted to buy it and try it hahaha. I’ve never heard of that before. I would have DIED if I were you in that situation. Died.

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  10. From one Judy to another. With my relatives who are quite a large group here in Latvia I will some day have to ask – Was it something I said? because for years now they live their own lives and it appears as if I am no longer part of the extended family. I have not been invited to wedding, christenings etc. So somewhere along the way it must have been me…..

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wow, that’s strange. The nosy side of me is curious (even though you don’t know!) Seems pretty harsh to just ditch the Judy of the family.

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  11. Ah, you are back!! Truly BACK!! I missed you so much!

    I’m forwarding this to my “adopted” daughter Judy. She may (or may not) be the “Aunt Judy” of her Family of Origin, but she definitely has an all inclusive and amazing sense of humor!

    Welcome back!

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  12. I wonder if there is a medical condition for laughing at inappropriate times and not being able to control it? It’s probably a syndrome….like “LMAO Syndrome”. I have had it for years and it is quite embarrassing. We have slippery wooden stairs and I cannot tell you how many times someone has slipped going down them and I have laughed my fool head off, all the while trying to apologize for laughing but still hysterically laughing. My husband gets so mad at me. And I think the person who has just bounced down 8 steps on their butts isn’t too pleased with me either.
    I also laugh (or cackel as my family prefers to call it) when no one else does. Once at an elderly family members memorial service, the son was telling stories about his mother and how they once lived next to some cliffs and she used to tell people, “Drop in anytime”. I snort/laughed and not another person in the place got the joke and they all turned to look at me.
    I fall a lot myself, and unless I am in danger of being run-over, I usually lay there laughing myself silly. Seems a lot less embarrassing if I am laughing at myself and enjoying it versus trying to jump up and pretend it never happened!
    We should start a “Just a Judy” page on Face Book!!!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      ‘Drop in anytime’ is fricken funny! I would have laughed at that too haha. It’s so much better to just lay there and laugh at yourself. It makes me laugh even harder when the person that falls pops back up and looks around like they are embarrassed. Ah.. it kills me. I’m down for a Judy FB page haha. That’s funny.

      Reply
  13. Lol I’m the Judy of my family as well! But in my family, we call Judy’s “Aunt Beths”… side note my Aunt Beth shit herself at my grandma’s 80th birthday. (To clarify, I have never shit myself haha) Thought you should know you’re not alone!

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  14. I just read your “I love your colon” post. It aligns perfectly with my rant today.

    I loved the wedding story. I’m reminded of the elderly couple in church. Ethyl whispers to her husband, Frank. “I just let a silent fart.” To which Frank replies, “Ethyl, I think you need new batteries in your hearing aid.”

    There’s also a great fart story in my upcoming book, “One Idiot Short of a Village.” I’m trying to get it ready for an April Fool’s Day release, but we’ll see.

    Reply
  15. We just might be sisters from another motha. Is it wrong that we crack up when people walk in to sliding glass doors? I’m thinking I release a lot of endorphins and it saves me from exercising, you know? That’s just being smart and productive right there!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I’ve never heard of this show. I’m intrigued. Since it has the “loop” word in it, I hope it’s just a circle of people laughing at each other without being able to stop. That would make me happy

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thanks 😀 The only one I use is Twitter, but I’m *terrible* at it. I don’t think I’ve even posted anything besides by blog links in the last 6 months lol. I try to get better but I’m just terrible with social media. My name is @shamefulsheep though 🙂

      Reply

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