here i am

I’ve been hiding lately. It started off as a small blogging break, but ended up with me hiding in the basement with nothing but my cats and a never-ending supply of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. I might be exaggerating aΒ tinyΒ bit, but when you have social anxiety it pretty much feels that way. I’ve been meaning to start posting again for over a month now, but anxiety is a middle school bully that likes to rough me up and shove my head in dirty toilets while cackling maniacally as my hair gets suckedΒ right off my scalp. I’m here, though. Finally. Screw bullies. Sorry it took so long.waldoback

I’ve had numerous comments/emails/msgs on Twitter about my disappearance. If I’ve worried you – I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve got to know a lot of awesome people on here, and it was a dick move for me to go MIA. I’m an ass. It’s going to take me awhile to catch up with all of your blogs again, but I’m on it. Just give me a few days.

Upon finally coming back after months, I’ve also realized my email was hacked. (I think?) I don’t know much about computers, so I’m working on getting it fixed. If you’ve received spam from me, sorry. Hopefully you didn’t click any sketchy links that made it so your computer was stuck on a picture of a man jerking off. (That happened to me when I was 15. No, I wasn’t looking at porn. I had to ask my dad to fix it and he never believed me. It was painfully awkward.)

I missed all of y’all. The majority of you are 1,000 times better than the people I meet in real life. Hope you’re all doing well.

228 Comments

  1. Welcome back, Blair. After 2 weeks of trying to learn the ropes at a new job, while at the same time trying to keep my own blog afloat, sitting in the basement with a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch sounds pretty good. Although in my case, it would probably be Perry’s Sponge Candy Ice Cream and a bottle of wine.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Sponge candy? What in the heck? lol I’ve never heard of that. Hope your new job is going well so far πŸ™‚ It’s hard balancing life & blog. Ick.

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      1. Ah, sponge candy is a very unique Buffalo, NY treat. It’s a spongy, crunchy type confection covered with chocolate – very yummy. A local dairy then created “sponge candy ice cream” which is vanilla swirled with caramel and cinnamon with chunks of crunchy sponge candy and bits of chocolate mixed in. I have to spoon it out carefully into a bowl because if I eat from the container, I will finish the whole thing in one sitting.

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        1. Mmmm, I haven’t had sponge candy in years, though I’m not sure it’s unique to NY. It’s like angelfood cake that’s been dehydrated, then coated with chocolate. Crunchy and airy and yummy (but crumbly). And added to ice cream??? I’m going to have to make my own. Aha! An excuse to buy sponge candy πŸ˜€

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          1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

            Damn, you guys are really making me feel like I’m missing something amazing lol. I’m going to have to try and find something here in NC. Mmm

          2. Are you from WNY? I know that Parkside Candy here claims to have created sponge candy, and I also know they market in other areas now, but I don’t know how far away you can find sponge candy. Not that I especially care – so long as I can get it here – and my favorite is made by Watson’s Candy in Kenmore, NY.

            Damn, now I need to go shopping.

        2. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

          I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that. I’m curious! Surprised I’ve never heard of it since I grew up near Syracuse. Strange!

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    2. I relocated to just-south-of-rochester aka just-east-of-buffalo aka might-as-well-be-canada about four years ago and I thought the only regional culinary delight my new homeland offered was “garbage plates” and “red hots.” I’m on the hunt for sponge candy ice cream!

      Reply
  2. durty deeds

    thank heavens YOU ARE BACK. I looked at your fancy-schmancy new web page & it was old rusty stuff you posted back from Easter. Geesh. anyway I look forward to your every word, every comma, every little dot & dash you post. Wish we were penpals 24/7 think I’ll go follow you on Twitter

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  3. Urgh. It’s actually super hard to come back, even for someone who doesn’t have very much social anxiety. It’s just so easy to continue avoiding it, one more day doesn’t matter.
    But it does! Glad you’re back… and if it’s only to disappear again, it’s no big deal. You know my stance on this issue πŸ™‚ You have responsibility to no one but yourself!! And maybe your husband and cats, but that’s just an extension of yourself anyway πŸ˜‰

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Agreed. It was hard to come back even though I really wanted to. Strange! I should be sticking around, though πŸ™‚

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  4. hey, good to hear from you! Glad you are back, but I feel ya. I’m starting to think I have social anxiety. Seriously – depression never fit because Im pretty much a positive whatever may come che sara sara kind of person – but every now and again I end up hiding in my basement with nutella, peanut butter and and a spoon. Its where Im pretty much at right now. It sort of scares me – but now Im teling myself I might as well take a break until labor day why not? I wish I had your sense of humor. you keep me smiling, laughing and thanks for that. Im so glad you are back – ok Im rambling. I’ll stop now.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      We seem to be in the same exact boat. It is HARD to get out of it. Real hard. I hope you can find your way back out of the basement <3 Social anxiety is terrible.

      Reply
  5. I recently realised that another blog I follow no longer shows up on my WordPress Reader (even though it also says I am following it), so I actually thought that might’ve happened with yours as well. In a way, it was actually a relief to come here a few days ago and find that you hadn’t posted anything new in a while. And it’s even better to see that you’re now back again! πŸ˜€

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  6. Welcome back! Incidentally, thanks for also including the easiest ever “Where’s Waldo?” in your post. It’s the first time I’ve ever managed to find him (although it still took a while).

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  7. I’m happy to see you’re back and I’m even more overjoyed to hear you and yours are in good health (I assume because it wasn’t disaster or tragedy that pulled you from blogging). Please don’t apologize for needing to take time for yourself, never apologize for that. I’m happy to read when you can post and I’m sure I’m not the only one willing to be patient.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you <3 No disasters or health problems. (knock on wood) Just a regular break πŸ™‚ I appreciate the kind words.

      Reply
  8. Grateful to hear you’re “over the hump.” Anxiety and its evil step-sisters (panic/depression) are debilitating; my daughter has dealt with them for 14 years. Sometimes you have to unplug and decompress….glad you did and glad you’re back! πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you! It really is a STRUGGLE. I’m sorry your daughter also deals with it. What a terrible plague on life. Ick.

      Reply
  9. Hey! Glad to see you back! I was looking for recent posts from you the other day.

    On another note, I once got an email at work that didn’t look suspicious, but when I opened it up, it started shrieking:

    “Hey everyone, I’m looking at gay porn!”

    So, that happened.

    Reply
  10. Sounds like the world has filled your head with as much cotton wool as it has filled mine. Lately not even my friends have been making me smile. I got a call from two friends a mother and daughter in NYC and they are so down in the dumps that the daughter announced to me that when her mom finally departs this world she too wants to depart it. Yeah right I’m an ocean away and what am I to say. Plus for me it was midnight and talk like this can bring on lovely dreams lol Luckily the mom finally piped up and said hey, I’m not ready to depart yet. Perhaps you can write up and amusing story about how this world can actual make you feel like you need to always keep a hangman’s noose by your side. Anyway looking forward to your new blogs. Keep smiling.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh wow, that’s intense. I hope the daughter changes her mind about that :\ That would be tragic. I’m sorry about all the wool. It’s so stressful.

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  11. Wondered where you disappeared to? Have missed your humour. I was egged on my birthday when I was 13. Back when we didn’t know it was bullying. Hot shower only cooked the egg making it harder to get out…. Ironically, when I moved away to study I reinvented myself. I found ways to meet people. That’s what clubs did for me. Now, I don’t care what people think of me.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Ugh, egging is cruel. I remember getting egged once when I was young, too. It’s terrible. I really need to reinvent myself and find ways to make friends. It’s hard when you’re an adult!

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      No Cinnamon Toast Crunch? It’s a super sugary kid cereal. It’s amazing, but absolutely terrible for you πŸ™‚ Great to meet you, too!

      Reply
  12. I just signed on to follow you. Loved the post, made me think about the similarities we’ve got. But I must say that it was REALLY difficult to find your comments box. I couldn’t see it until I signed up to follow. Crazy story, but I saw your link on another post by someone else and followed it to you because your name was very intriguing. Glad that you’ve made the decision to return to your blog and I look forward to reading more of your posts. πŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Interesting! I’ve never heard that before. I’m going to look into it and see if I can change it up a bit πŸ™‚ Thanks for the feedback & the follow!

      Reply
      1. Yes and I’d like to be able to say that I just have mild anxiety that I’ve managed with positive self talk, affirmations, and the ability to keep my thoughts in check through a lot of breathing I’ve learned in yoga class.
        But I could be deluding myself.
        Glad to be reading your funny prose again.

        Reply
  13. Oh my gracious, I hear ya. I was a real jerk too by just going MIA on my blog for far longer than a month. I’m slowly getting back at it, but even though the motivation was there for a while, there was that weird nagging social anxiety you mentioned which somehow kept me in hiding. Oh, that plus a crap ton of things going on in life that took a lot of time away from Blog Land.

    Anywho, welcome back!!! <3

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  14. Hello again. I don’t remember if you drink alcohol or not but there’s a totally tasty drink called Cinnamon Toast Crunch made with Rum Chata and Fireball Whiskey, ratio to your taste as I don’t recall the specifics and just doctor it to my mood. Then some ice chips and it’s quite delicious.

    Reply

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