i love your colon

Am I the only one that gets seriously annoyed when they are corrected by random people online? I’m talking about the grammar police in all their unholy glory. Here in the “blogiverse,” (that word chaps my ass a little) it seems like everyone and their mother has an English degree and likes to shove it in the face of unsuspecting writers when they spot a mistake. What’s with that? Don’t you guys have something better to do with your time? Why leave a random comment that has nothing to do with a blog post solely to correct someone you don’t know? Am I missing something here?

smellycolons

Usually the amazing lessons from the self-appointed grammar police begin like:

“I think you meant to say…”
“Not to be rude, but…”
“My mom thinks I’m special and smart, it would be a shame not to share my knowledge…”
“I won my 8th grade spelling bee, so I’ve got the credentials to correct you…”
“I don’t get enough attention in real life, so I feel the need to make strangers feel belittled.”

News flash: nobody likes a know-it-all. You guys really are the bursting ass pimples of the internet.

/end rant.

seizuresalad

Also, I totally get annoyed by terrible grammar and spelling, so I’m not completely exempt in all of this. It’s the people that go out of their way to correct it is what drives me nuts. It always seems like people do it just to pat themselves on the back for being smart.

198 Comments

  1. I agree completely! If I was reading a book or journal article or some other formally published work, I would expect zero grammatical or spelling errors (I still won’t complain to anyone if I find any but it does annoy me).
    However, when it comes to blogs and the like, I really don’t care. Well, I mean, if the writing is terrible to the point that I don’t really know what they’re saying, I won’t return to that blog, but a few mistakes here and there are nothing to make a fuss about.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That’s exaaactly how I am! I won’t even read a book once I find a blatant error. But in the world of blogs? If you don’t like it, move to the next one! Doesn’t seem so hard lol

      Reply
  2. Omg yes! I’m dreadful at spelling but I like to think I’m fairly intelligent. My colleague who is less well qualified than me loves to get in a huff and tut and roll her eyes when I spell something wrong. FFS! At least I wrote the document or whatever!!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That made me laugh “At least I wrote the document or whatever!” Haha. I always feel the need to slap people when they roll their eyes at me. I feel for you. lol

      Reply
      1. It’s like they don’t know they are rolling their eyes, but the comments about the spelling are obviously delibirate!! It just gets under some people’s skin I guess, but the offence is in that they think you are inferior because you can’t spell!

        Reply
  3. I can totally understand frustration when someone corrects your grammar or post. I realize there is a certain point where they are enjoying the ability to show your mistakes. However, there is a certain issue with the world who don’t know there homonyms. I was at an airport recently and an adult person did not comprehend time zones. What are they teaching in school these days. Some of these people will be leaders and government movers. I am scare for us! By the way. I have not seen any of your posts that made me concern for your intelligence. 🙂

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, that’s just terrible. I just read something on Reddit about time zones recently about a couple not understanding time zones. I can’t remember it exactly, but it was something along the lines of “they have a different time zone because they were once owned by France” or something. It’s a shame, really. And terribly scary.

      Reply
  4. I dont get why pour grammar wood bother ewe!?! As a member of the High Order of Pharisitical Spellers, I can tell you with authority, that I am right here, because my mom told me I’m special and because I have a degree, so there.

    That should cover both ends of the spectrum. Have a great day!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thanks for sharing. I watched the whole thing haha. Wrong tweets are hilarious. Also, being an American, the video as educational (sort of.) I’ve never heard of “bull in a China shop” or anything about an elk! Interesting.

      Reply
  5. I think there’s a place for correcting grammar and punctuation, but it’s generally not on the average blog or anything. If I write and post a short story and there are mistakes, I’ll happily take that criticism because I’m asking for it by way of displaying my work, but in my regular blog? Nah bro, I’m good.
    That aside there are minor mistakes like wrong periods or using the wrong there/they’re/their and then there are the truly wonderful and those mistakes make my fucking day. The two you posted? Those kinds of mistakes. Do they make me feels slightly superior? Yes because I can be a bit of a prat like that, but I’m also not going to be an ass about it because I’ve made similarly thoughtless mistakes.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I hear ya. The mistakes I posted are just there to be funny. I honestly don’t think I could continue on without commenting on them, just because of my sense of humor. It makes me feel a little superior, too. Whoops!

      Reply
  6. I would never consider correcting anyone.. If I did, I wouldn’t have anything to laugh at. On that note, check out Alonzo Lerone. He’s made it his life’s work to discover bad spelling and grammar and he does it hilariously.

    Reply
  7. I did love the seizure salad, though. Sometimes autocorrect thinks it is smarter and stuff like that results. I don’t go around correcting people’s spelling and grammar, I just laugh and move on. People get paid good money to nitpick their way through manuscripts… they’re called editors. Have a great day, shameful sheep. 🙂

    Reply
  8. OMG, you ‘liked’ my ‘piano tuner’ story. Was it the correct and proper grammar (which I have no idea if it was, I just write what pops in my mind), or could you tell that I don’t give a rat’s behind if I make a faux-pas, as long as I write something that someone read it and said, “Wow, that was nice” and smiled.

    Reply
  9. I agree Blair – isn’t the whole point of most blogs to “express” yourself. I never claimed to be a literary expert, I love to read EVERYTHING, but I don’t rip any of it apart for grammar – that is almost rude!?! I enjoy writing and I write in a way to help others enjoy reading it ( I hope). Keep going girlfriend!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you! I totally agree. It’s a different world when you blog, and it’s meant to be whatever you want. Nit-pickers are annoying 🙂

      Reply
  10. Oh my. Going to Macdonald’s will likely give your colon a seizure. 😉 Thanks for sharing those – pretty funny.

    And as for the grammar obsessives, well, I guess it takes all kinds. They just should kindly take themselves somewhere else. 😉

    Reply
  11. hahaha – i love your colon! It took me a while to get the first screenshot. too funny when i finally realized… I’ve corrected people before, but usually on 1:1 chats with family/friends- not strangers and def not on people’s blogs ….

    it’s a thing- some people can’t help but correct others. they really can’t help it. true story.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I don’t like it! Grr lol. Private corrections with people you’re close with is okay in my book. Still a little cringe-worthy, but sometimes it’s necessary lol

      Reply
  12. First, love the title. Second, I definitely agree. I’m a professional editor and little mistakes in blogs don’t bother me at all. The only time I have every commented to point out a mistake was when there was a repeated paragraph and a minor misspelling in a short story by a blogger I really love. I thought she might want to know since she might send it out for publishing. And I didn’t just comment to give a correction. My main reason for commenting was to tell her how much I loved the story.

    Most bloggers who post fiction are usually grateful if you mention a typo because it helps them with their own editing process, but for anything else, it agree that it is just obnoxious.

    Although, I must confess that I will tear apart someone’s grammar if they being an asshole in what they have written, haha.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Hey, if they are being an asshole… they are 100% fair game to tear apart haha. I like that, even though you’re a professional editor, you don’t always fel the need to correct people. Phew.

      Reply
  13. As usual, love this post Blair! I feel like heads are often rolling at my blog – being slightly dyslexic, I’ve needed to find the humour in my backwards gnilleps. My grammar on the other hand… no excuses.

    Reply
      1. Well, I think people are just misinformed is all. I try not to take it personally and usually find a way to laugh it off (Humour is a great medicine). However.. It made for writing out some hilariously misspelled names when I worked at Starbucks. 🙂

        Reply
  14. I feel like I’m going to explode when I see your, you’re, there, their, and they’re used incorrectly. I don’t say anything though, I generally just laugh because I am guilty as hell when it comes to typos.

    Reply
  15. The example malapropisms displayed in this post are hilarious. They also illustrate the limitations of spelling checkers. Flagging an oopsie like “colon” for “cologne” (or “seizure” for “Caesar”) is far beyond what current technology can do.

    If strange grammar or spelling makes it really difficult to know what a writer is trying to say, then a reader who cares enough to explain the difficulty politely is being helpful. No need to fuss about whatever does not seriously hinder communication.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I’m good! I was at Myrtle Beach and just got home 🙂 Should have a new post tomorrow. Thanks for checking in. Very kind of you!

      Reply
  16. And I thought this was going to be a post on tips for dealing with symptoms of IBS (as opposed to examples of how the internet’s “bursting ass pimples” often cause mine…).

    Thanks for “liking” my little Poe parody poem! I’m glad you found me, so I could find you! Jaded depressives of the world unite! <3

    Reply
  17. Grrrr. I hate people like that! My mother and a couple of my friends are like that. Yes, I would like to know if I spell something wrong but it is the attitude they give while doing it that ticks me off. And I love when they look at you with confusion on their faces when you yell at them for it. Lol!

    Reply

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