I wish depression was tangible so I could go all Lizzie Borden on its ass and swing an ax in its face 40 times. That’d be fair, right? Something has to be done because it’s not like it’s doing me any favors or anything. I’ve been hiding lately because, well… my brain has been in timeout. I should be back functioning and writing soon. There really needs to be a pause button on racing thoughts/doubt/paranoia/crazyshit so they aren’t constantly flooding our heads. All I need is a break. Is that too much to ask?
Alex and I are desperately counting down the days until June because we have two trips planned. One is a short 3-day trip to the beach, and the other is a week-long road trip to Michigan for a wedding and family time. We are so close, yet so far. In the meantime, I found this hilarious list on Reddit about real reviews of vacations people went on. Sometimes the stupidity of people is the best way to brighten your day. They are a good reminder that, hey… at least you aren’t dumb as hell.
“They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”
“The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
“No one told us there’d be fish in the water. The children were scared.”
“Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard cremes or ginger nuts.”
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”
“When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure didn’t mention mosquitoes.”
We are surrounded by geniuses, folks. Be scared.
Do you have any plans for relaxing this summer? Vacations? Staycations? Laying around on the couch like a vegetable while you stuff yourself full of ice cream and margaritas?