time to press pause

I wish depression was tangible so I could go all Lizzie Borden on its ass and swing an ax in its face 40 times. That’d be fair, right? Something has to be done because it’s not like it’s doing me any favors or anything. I’ve been hiding lately because, well… my brain has been in timeout. I should be back functioning and writing soon. There really needs to be a pause button on racing thoughts/doubt/paranoia/crazyshit so they aren’t constantly flooding our heads. All I need is a break. Is that too much to ask?

bringiton

Alex and I are desperately counting down the days until June because we have two trips planned. One is a short 3-day trip to the beach, and the other is a week-long road trip to Michigan for a wedding and family time. We are so close, yet so far. In the meantime, I found this hilarious list on Reddit about real reviews of vacations people went on. Sometimes the stupidity of people is the best way to brighten your day. They are a good reminder that, hey… at least you aren’t dumb as hell.

“They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”  

“The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.” 

“No one told us there’d be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

buzzlife
“Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard cremes or ginger nuts.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.” 

“When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure didn’t mention mosquitoes.”

We are surrounded by geniuses, folks. Be scared.

Do you have any plans for relaxing this summer? Vacations? Staycations? Laying around on the couch like a vegetable while you stuff yourself full of ice cream and margaritas?

175 Comments

  1. No plans for vacations this year. The plan is to get past the cancer and surgery this year. We will just stay local, maybe go for day drives on the weekends. My hubby doesn’t know it but I am saving and planning a real vacation for us next year. I think we deserve a trip away somewhere alone to just celebrate love and life.
    As far as the depression goes…….I agree with the Lizzie Borden thing.
    Have a safe trip and hope it gets here quick enough for you.

    Reply
  2. I don’t necessarily actually think Albert Einstein said this, but it’s 100% accurate: “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” The worst part? They’re probably breeding. I don’t have any specific vacation plans, but I think I’m going to try a “summer camp” thing with my sister with planned activities throughout the summer.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh, that sounds fun. I wish I lived close enough to my sister to do something like that. I’m scared these people are breeding. Shouldn’t there be a required written test before that happens? (kidding, kidding)

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  3. I laughed out loud at some of the vacationer comments you posted! Thanks, I needed a laugh!

    We have two trips planned this summer: one a 3-day trip to Indianapolis (I’ve never been there) in June and then a cruise to Alaska in late August. After that, in November, we are planning to go to Brazil and see some friends. It’s nice being retired!!

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wow, you’ve got some big ones planned! Jealous. I’ve always wanted to cruise to Alaska. Can’t imagine how beautiful it will be 🙂

      Reply
  4. These did not make me laugh they made me horrified…I feel so bad for ‘foreigners’ and tour guides. How can people travel and miss the whole point. I guess you can take the American out of America but… Oi! I giggled a little on ‘the beach was too sandy’…LOL…oh brother!

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  5. I particularly enjoyed the person indignant about the discrepancy of travel times. I have often groused that they should move the Black Hills of South Dakota into Minnesota so I don’t have to spend so much time in the car. However, I never ACTUALLY expected that to happen.

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  6. oh man, I really needed to read those today! I completely understand, I’m starting to come out from my shell of anxiety/depression that caught hold of me the last few months. June is right around the corner and I hope you enjoy your trips!!! (if we don’t see you ’round these parts in the next few weeks)

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you! It’s hard to come out of for sure. I hope you have some fun stuff planned for the summer to make these upcoming months a little easier 🙂

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      It HAS gotten a lot easier since my early 20s, that’s for sure. I really need to pick up yoga sometime. I keep meaning too, but I’m kind of intimidated by it lol.

      Reply
  7. Ah, you can always count on the experiences of travelers who really don’t want things to be any different than their same old routine to lighten your day – as long as you’re not traveling with or around them. Thanks for the laugh, and the pick-me-up.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      They completely lose the whole concept of *vacation*… It’s supposed to be different! Ugh. People. I’m glad you enjoyed the reviews 🙂

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  8. Landing at Lisbon Airport from Heathrow. Captain announces local time is 18:30
    Couple behind us-
    Woman: Hey! It’s the same time as home! How’s that happen?
    Man (thinking for a moment): Well. I think we owned Portugal once. Made ’em use our time.
    Woman: Yeah. I think you’re right.

    PS – I control my depression with running. Lots of running. Rather than self-harm with alcohol.
    You’re not alone.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Oh god, I wish that didn’t make me laugh so hard. People are so ignorant hahaha. Running definitely helps. Alcohol too, but… ya know

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  9. I think you should do a part 2. These were great. I also love ready the stupid reviews on Yelp … like “we had to wait 10 mins. to be seated” or “my Asian salted shrimp was too salty” or “my margarita tasted like it had alcohol in it” or “the waiter was too nice”. What gives with people? By the way, your “depressed” post didn’t make me depressed at all so you missed the mark on that one! 😉

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Or, I HIT the mark 🙂 I don’t want to make people depressed! That would be terrible lol. Maybe I’ll do a part 2. It’s always fun to laugh at stupid people, right? haha

      Reply
  10. Oh my lord. The Spaniards one reminds me of my sister asking for vacation places in Mexico that were run by white people so she wouldn’t have to be around Mexicans. Da fuq?

    I hope your depression symptoms improve soon. <3

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  11. My favorite is the one about Jamaica. I also hear that people living in the eastern part of countries get to have their daybreak earlier than those living in the western part. Where is the fairness in that? 🙁

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  12. I plan on kicking ass and taking names. Since mom died I haven’t really had any time to process or figure out where I want to go in life. All I know is I don’t want to stay where I’m at, doing the things I’m doing, because for the past year and a half I’ve been unhappy.

    So, instead, I’m going to be moving to live near my older brother (Las Vegas, oh darn, of all the places I have to move…) and taking some time away from “life”. I’m going to be focusing on me and shaping up for the military. I’m going to be joining a dojang (school for taekwondo). I’ll most likely find something to volunteer with because if I don’t do something I’ll go insane. There’s the possibility of becoming a Certified Nursing Assistant because the thought of helping people give sme warm fuzzy feelings.

    I’m going to beat Witcher III because that game is amazing and it sucks that I never have time to play it. I’m going to visit friends I haven’t seen in years. I may even travel to Japan with a fellow blogging buddy who I’ve never met in person because she’s a super cool person and if she turns out to be a serial kill at least I’ll die in a cool place.

    I’m going to live life for a little while and say fuck it to the voice of doubt that always wants to hold me back because responsibility and the to-do list “should” come first.

    You know what? I’ve done that for 27 years. If my mom’s only wish was for me to be happy I think I owe it to her to take a year and to actually be happy and to do the things that actually bring me fulfillment.

    Reply
  13. My family goes off to Alaska for a wedding starting next week and for eleven days. Due to budget constraints, I couldn’t go with them. That may sound depressing until this is considered — I get to be a freaking bachelor for 11 days. I can’t afford hookers, so I won’t get in that kind of trouble, but it will be enough to get a break from the insanity of family life for a while.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      11 days with some peace and quiet sounds pretty amazing, actually. I wouldn’t mind spending that time alone either!

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  14. Love your post and the resulting comments.

    Depression is an unwanted but faithful companion, and I treat her with cheerful neglect. Years ago, during one particularly fun time, I stopped taking antidepressants and started taking St. John’s Wort, which I understand German doctors prescribe for depression. All I know is, there was a bit of an overlap in the two, and I was like the Energizer Bunny. Then Boom! fell asleep at the wheel one day and a lamppost ran into me.

    No vacation this year, but then, I’m retired, so every day is vacay!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wow, I’m glad you are okay after that lamppost incident. Scary! Did the St. John’s Wort help in the end? Curious!

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      1. It did. German physicians use it, I understand, Blair, instead of chemical antidepressants. What helped the most finally was cognitive behavioural therapy. I’ve gone that route a couple of times and it’s a huge help to get you to think about what is the source of the problem and help you work through episodes.

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  15. I have a bunch of stuff planned this summer. So far; June long weekend camping trip; July Lion King on stage; August my little sister coming for a long weekend; Sept trip to see my mom and siblings; October mom and me to Brazil for a week. I am already tired. LOL

    Reply
  16. Hi, this post is more than perfect! I agree, there needs to be a pause button. The problem is that not everyone is able to use it. And btw. thank you very much for following my blog! Have a nice day! 🙂
    x Kristýna

    Reply
  17. Oh man, I’m not alone in wishing I could manifest my depression an murder it with an axe. A dull axe. Repeatedly.
    I love that vacation list, I’ve read it a few times and it makes me smile every time.

    As for vacations, I just did a 2 week tent camping trip to Utah last month, and this month I am going to drive around Iceland for a week. Vacations are exhausting…. I don’t know how to sit by the pool and do nothing ha!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Wow, where in Utah? I love Utah! The most beautiful state. I’m super jealous about your trip to Iceland. WOW. Take me with you.

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      1. we did the national park tour; Zion, Bryce, Arches, Canyonlands, Dinosaur, and Cedar Breaks was closed.
        I agree that it is the most beautiful state! I need to spend more time there.

        Iceland is going to be amazing, I’ve already decided that sleep isn’t important and I’m going to take advantage of the long, long days until I collapse. Come with! It’ll be an adventure!

        Reply

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