random is my middle name

Last week I wrote a post that was made up of random thoughts/experiences I had during the week. I thought it went pretty well, plus I love any reason to talk about the random insanity that plagues my life so I’m going to do it again. Strap yourselves in because here we go, friends. Here. We. Go.

It’s getting hot in here – I was in Barnes & Noble the other night and there were two teens making out and groping each other in the horror section. Seems fitting, right? It made me pretty horrified. What happened to the days when kids sat in the back row of the movie theater and let their hormones rage in the dark? Keep it classy, guys. Nobody wants to see that. I was feeling particularly snarky that night, so I found a book called ‘God Is Watching You’ (or something close to that, can’t remember the exact name.) I tapped one of them on the shoulder and handed it over. They were embarrassed. I counted it as a win. Justice was served. Book stores are always an adventure (especially when you are crazy.)

funny-awful-kisses-8

Updates – The mother of the kid I kicked in the balls a few days ago dropped by this morning to offer an apology. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen this woman take an interest or responsibility in her child. She told me she has barred him from stepping foot on my property (which, hello – he shouldn’t be anyways) and if he does again to let her know. She also brought me brownies with ‘nuts’ in them. Jury’s still out if they are poisoned or not. I love me some brownies, but pretty sure I’m better off passing on these ones. It pains my heart to say no to chocolate.

Sadness – I wasn’t originally going to say anything about this, but since it’s Mental Health Awareness Week, I figured it was worth putting out there. It’s been a rough week for my in-laws (that includes my sisters/brothers-in law as well) because a childhood friend Alex grew up with committed suicide a few days ago. I didn’t know him, and I don’t know his family, so I can only imagine the devastation they are going through. I know it’s easier said than done, but please, if you are having thoughts of suicide, or just need to talk to someone – reach out. Talk to anyone. Hell, you can talk to me. Message me on Twitter and it will ping my phone. We can get through this.

86 Comments

  1. I was in Target not to long ago and there was a 50 plus couple who stopped in the aisle right next to me and my daughter to put their tongues in each other’s mouths. I looked at them (unavoidable really) and said something like ‘seriously?’ Fortunately, they stopped right away.
    As for the brownies, I’d risk the poisoning to eat them.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Damn, I hope when I’m 50 I feel the need to do that. Not that I would. But… that’s pretty impressive lol.

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Right? The brownies went right to the trash. Sad. I hope to never experience something so tragic again lol

      Reply
  2. My wife and I are a 50 plus couple and our tongues are always in each other’s mouths. It’s kind of a hobby. If you reach 50, been married for 25+ years, count it as a win if you still want to tongue each other!

    God is not only watching but He is with you everywhere you go. You don’t have to believe me but believe me. You’ll find out one day.

    Brownies… buy a mouse at the pet store. Feed it some of the brownie. If it dies, throw the brownies away and drop the dead mouse in crazy kid’s yard. If the mouse lives, enjoy the brownies and release the mouse in crazy kid’s yard.

    This public service message has been brought to you by The Flying Dutchman.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Good idea about the mouse lol. Pretty funny. Hey, when my marriage hits 25+ years, I HOPE my husband and I still want to do stuff like that in public. Kudos to y’all lol

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  3. So sorry about your husband’s friend. Sorry to that family, sorry for his family, sorry for your little family, sorry to the whole lot. Suicide ripples outward so far and it’s devastating (from someone who survived ground zero of a suicide). Sending peace to all of you.

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  4. I have no middle name and since there’s a big void in my life because of it, I’m taking suggestions! I’m also taking money, so if someone wants to pay me to adopt a ridiculous name, I’ll consider it…

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  5. Perhaps the mom was just trying to avoid future medical bills. As to the brownies…I am a chocolate addict but I would still throw them out. I mean, something bad has gone done with those. You can bet on it.

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  6. You’re lucky the mama didn’t want to press charges for harming her sweet baby! Glad she was cool about it. Tell her next time, you’re going for the jugular!

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  7. Chocolate is always a nice detail, after what the boy did seemed like the correct thing too though the way you describe this family I would be a little suspicious about the brownies too haha. I’m really sorry for the childhood friend. (Really enjoying reading your posts)

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you 🙂 The brownies met my trash can. I could just make brownies for $2 rather than risk my life for the free ones lol. Too much of a wuss for that!

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  8. bkw

    I’ll have to remember the book when I come across a couple slipping each other the tongue at the bookstore. This is Iowa so I might not get the opportunity. People here behave themselves in public, for the most part.

    I’d skip the brownies until I got to know the woman better. Put them in the freezer.

    St. Dymphna, patron of those suffering from nervous and mental afflictions, pray for us.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Yeah, I tossed the brownies! Too much of a gamble lol. I mean, I love chocolate, but… gotta draw a line somewhere.

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  9. Thanks for your random musings. The suicide of a Alex’s childhood friend brings things to a somber level. I hate to see a young person end his or her life. Your encouragement to others to reach out is well founded and appreciated. All it takes is an impulsive act and it is over. Keith

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Agreed. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have put it in since the rest of the topics were humorous. But… I think it needed to be said. 30 is too young.

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  10. Ha ha ha- lucky to find a fitting book title! DON’T EAT THE BROWNIES! It may be a genuine offer of goodwill but as I am particularly suspicious and paranoid I say again DON’T EAT THE BROWNIES! Also, bless you for the “reach out” advice. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there is enough.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Right? I had to do some frantic searching for the right book, but I found it! Whew lol. I threw the brownies away. Figured the chocolate wasn’t worth risking my life ha

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  11. Dina

    You’ve amused me, made me laugh and touched me. That last paragraph was powerful and sincere. There’s layers to you… (I hope you know what that means and take it as a compliment which is how I meant it, not that I’m comparing you to a photoshop file 🙂

    Reply
  12. When I was a youngish teen my friends and I hung out at the library. WHAT. We still mimic the little old Italian librarian who told us, “No making love in the library.” You gotta say it with the accent.

    I’ve read The Help. Skip the brownies. Terrible Awful.

    I’m so sorry for your in-laws. I hope Alex is OK.

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    1. & oh yeah. I would have prayed for the floor to open up and swallow me if you’d handed me that book. I went to friend’s prom and we were in the process of getting trashed in the limo, leaning out the window and being stupid when a woman in the car next to us handed us a tract. *sigh* My date and I were both from Christian families and we just KNEW WE WERE BEING WATCHED. Probably saved my life that night though, because I got my head back in the window.

      Reply
    2. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      The Help. Oh god. I didn’t even think about that… now I’m scared to even leave them in my trash can haha. Gross.

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  13. So sorry for the tragedy … but the book made me LOL that was hysterical. Reminded me of a talk I had with my 15 year old questioning me about masturbation … everytime you do, it kills a kitten … LOL !😂😉👍👌✌

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I agree with on the 50+ couple! I hope my marriage is still steamy when we hit that age haha. I tossed the brownies. Can’t take a chance!

      Reply
  14. I’m glad to hear about the mother sending her son to apologize. I have two boys myself and if they were involved in a situation that lead to a nut-kicking, then I would certainly do the same thing the mother you talked about did. Ask the kid to come back over and test the brownies for you, lol. Or you can just trust that this is a sincere apology, lol. As for mental health awareness week, all I can do is quote from one of my favorite movies, “Don’t come selling crazy around here, we’re all stocked up.” Tis the truth. Also, the movies are too expensive to just go to to neck, lol. Pretty fitting the PDA was in the horror section.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I didn’t even think of how much the price of movies has gone up, I doubt I would be paying for it either now haha. I should have had the kid test the brownies first. Dang! Smart haha

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Ew, lol. Sneeze-filled brownies. Eek. I ended up throwing them away. It was a sad day in the Sheep household.

      Reply
  15. 1) I just love you.
    2) If you haven’t ever treated yourself to Frosted Brownies, do this. Put Hershey Bars on top of your own home-baked brownies right out of the oven, When they melt, spread like icing and wait ’til it sets. (yeah right, like you can wait.) Best brownies ever. Especially frozen.
    3) Suicide, close to you, is one of the most painful, out of control things you will ever experience, and it can stay with you your whole life…(my mother when I was a teenager).
    4) I’m 67 years old. I haven’t had a tongue in my mouth for way too long. I’m thinking of taking my husband to Target, TODAY!!!
    5) I’ve watched every episode of Switched at Birth, Awkward, New Girl, Gilmore Girls, 90210, Jane the Virgin, and my favorite, Life Unexpected…maybe trying to find something I missed out on (See #3)
    6) To comfort me after my Mom died, a friend thoughtlessly brought me “loaded” brownies. Almost joined my mother. (See #3)
    7) I am a therapist in private practice for over 40 years, specializing in BPD. (See #3) My colleagues would cringe at my choice. It’s a tough diagnosis that most therapists, especially psychologists, don’t much like. It requires making a Iife-long commitment to the client. LOVED me some Borderlines!! The most intelligent, creative, deep, loving and funny people I ever worked with.
    8) I just read TMI on 2/9/16 (in case my long reply here is just TOO random for even YOU)
    9) I grew up surfing in San Diego and I can’t swim…..
    10) Thanks for sharing all that you do.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I was about to say “maybe we gravitate to each other since I was diagnosed in my early 20s with BPD” haha. Thought it was a crazy coincidence you said that at first! I’ve never done that to brownies before, but now I feel like I’m missing out on the world. Melted chocolate on top of chocolate? Sign me up. Thank you ALSO for sharing! Some awesome facts. I LOVE San Diego. I’ve wanted to move there for awhile now.

      Reply
  16. There’s little that I like more than a random blog post. I’m glad that you had the conversation with the mother of the boy you kicked. I’d stay away from the brownies, though. As for the couple in Target, I’m old-school so I would of yelled: “Get a room why don’t you?” Then glared at them. Sorry to learn of the suicide. I think anything like that, even if you only know those people who knew the person, is upsetting. So sad.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      A little randomness is never bad, ya know? I’m avoiding the brownies. I was afraid to even leave them in my kitchen trash. I’m far too paranoid lol

      Reply
  17. hello blair its dennis the vizsla dog hay isnt mayking owt in the horror sekshun a gud way to git killd??? hay i hav seen mooveez i no how it wurks!!! by the way the first thing dada sed wen he saw the titel of this post is that yoo must be relayted to sumbuddy naymd random from sum buk kalld nine princes in amber i hav no ideea wot he is tawking abowt but i am shoor it is nerdy!!! ok bye

    Reply
  18. Suicide is scary business. Thanks for putting your thoughts out there and sharing your message.
    I also love your randomness and musings, very relatable for me…I think your blog and writing are fantastic.
    Thanks!

    Reply
  19. Not quite as blatant as a make-out session, but I was once at the funeral home for a visitation, and the line was really long. A (I later discovered) newlywed 45ish couple was in front of me, and they DID NOT STOP TOUCHING each other the entire time we waited in line to give our condolences to the family and view the deceased. Dude kept his hand on or near his wife’s butt, mostly, and they kept stealing little smooches here and there. THEN they had the audacity to gloat about their own marriage and how happy they are to the HUSBAND of the DEAD WOMAN, who teared up at every mention of his recently-late wife. It was uncouth of them, to say the least.

    Reply
  20. I’m a fairly recent fan of your blog and love how you can make me laugh at a time when laughter isn’t easy to come by. So while your levity is greatly appreciated, thank you for taking a moment to be serious and bringing up a difficult subject. Snarky or not, you obviously have a good heart and your offer to allow anyone with thoughts of suicide to reach out to you is a generous one. Thank you for both sides of you…

    Reply

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