baby got back

When I was 13 my mom came to pick me up from school with tissues corkscrewed in her nose and pajamas with pink bunnies plastered all over them. HerΒ go-to method of punishment was always embarrassment. If I was going to call my teacher a bitch and my behavior was going to embarrass her, she was going to storm in freshly rolled out of bed and looking like a hot mess to embarrass me. And, believe me… it worked. Every. Damn. Time. One time I got suspended from school for drinking and she came to pick me up during the lunch period with Baby Got Back blasting from the car. Believe me, there’s nothing more embarrassing at the age of 17 than your mom rapping about big butts while she raises the roof in front of your entire school. Cringe.

loreleis

My parents live on the complete opposite side of the country from us so we only see them one or two times a year. Honestly… it’s painful. Even though I live in the same town as Alex’s entire family and see his mom multiple times a week, nothing will ever be the same as MY mom and MY family. Yes, you can be 29 and married with a life of your own and still miss your mom. Don’t judge, guys. Didn’t your mother teach you that?

So, early Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms around these parts. I know there are a lot. Thanks for being strong kick-ass women. My respect for y’all runs deep.

(Yes, I’m posting my Mother’s Day post early because, let’s face it – everyone is going to post their’s on Sunday. This way you won’t be like ‘dear lord, another Mother’s Day post? Haven’t I read a million of these today already?’ BAM.)

(Also, I was a really good kid. These are literally the only two times I ever got in trouble at school.)

95 Comments

    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Right? I can’t wait for the day when I have kids so I can embarrass them. Seems a lot better than screaming lol

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That’s hilarious πŸ˜€ I can’t wait until I have kids… I plan on doing it as well! Seems like such a fun time lol

      Reply
  1. Boo ya – beat ya to it … I did mine just shy of midnight last night: I Hate Mother’s Day! There, I said it. I didn’t feel it as much until I became a mother and then suddenly, the holiday that seems is finally for you, isn’t! It’s for all the other mamas you still are lucky enough to have around who trump your 14 years of mothering! Ah … I’m being a bitter bitch. Sorry … your mama sounds awesome!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Damn! Great minds think alike lol. Except yours thinks a little faster since you beat me to it πŸ™‚ Mothers Day IS for you. 14 years deserves some damn big recognition lol.

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thanks for the grammar lesson lol. I love the ‘ewe Shameful Sheep ewe.’ Well done, sir πŸ™‚ made me laugh

      Reply
  2. Anonymous

    Well done, mum. I love my pajamas but I won’t go out wearing them. I wonder what would embarrass my kids (13, 15) enough to scare them straight if they started rebelling…?

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      the above kudo to your mum and commentary about pajama wearing outdoors brought to you by Deon Mumple, and my wordpress is malfunctioning.!~ Nicely written. Love, Deon

      Reply
      1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

        I’m glad you said something! It drives me crazy when the name doesn’t pop up and I have no idea who it is lol. Thanks!

        Reply
    2. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      You’re going to have to come up with something good. πŸ™‚ Embarrassing teenagers seems like a fun hobby for you to pick up haha

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  3. Hahaha honestly I luv it too dang funny. Girl don’t even feel bad about missing your family. Take advantage of seeing them now while you can. I don’t judge you. Family is important. No matter how old we are we will always still need mom and dad. Your blessed to still have them.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Real Slim Shady hahahahah. That’s a great one for embarrassing some people! I would have died if she used that song. Smart thinking!

      Reply
  4. Blair, it is amazing how kids can be mortified over the smallest things. So, your mother going all out to embarrass may actually cure the common cold due to its power. Happy Mother’s Day all. Keith

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Right? I think it’s a great method that won’t do much emotional damage. It’s sad how much I look forward to passing the tradition along to my future children haha

      Reply
  5. That was hilarious! I always threatened my son that if he wouldn’t get ready for school he could just go in his pajamas, one morning he just lay on the floor refusing to go to Kindergarten anymore. I put his clothes in a bag, put him in the car, and dropped him off with his teacher. We never had to go through that again.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Haha good thinking. I can only imagine the tantrum that ensued! I have a niece that would have flipped out if she were dropped off at school in pjs. Bravo!

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Did you not? Sorry to hear about it. You seem like a great mom… happy early Mothers Day to you πŸ™‚

      Reply
  6. bkw

    Tell your mom Happy Mother’s Day from one of your readers. My mom has been gone for three years now, and after twenty-seven years of marriage and at age 50, I miss her like crazy. What a lovely lady she was.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      Thank you! I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a mom. :/ <3

      Reply
  7. I think I would have died if my mom ever did that to me! But if I ever got suspended from school she might have killed me….. but I was never in trouble since I was “shy” and had no personality HAHA! Until grade 8, then I walked out of a class but she didn’t hear about that until months later. Im sorry you miss your mom so much! I have the opposite relationship, I am perfectly fine being far away from her.

    But seriously – mother’s day is this Sunday?! I honestly had no idea!

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I was actually pretty shy and nerdy in school! Those two examples are literally the ONLY times I ever got in trouble haha. Well, I’m glad you know now! Don’t forget to call πŸ˜€

      Reply
  8. This was sooooo funny! Maybe because that’s exactly something I would have done to my son BUT I actually did something worse (according to him anyway). I wrote a short story and changed the names to protect the guilty … and it won a national silver award that year. Ha ha ha ha ha! He has never forgotten it. You can read the condensed version here and love to your mom – because she rocks πŸ™‚ https://galeweithers.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/so-one-day-i-wrote-a-funny-almost-true-story/

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      That’s amazing! I’ll definitely read it. I can imagine how mortified your son was lol πŸ™‚ Happy Mothers Day!

      Reply
  9. Hahaha wow how smart! My dad’s mom had some clever tricks too. One time he came home drunk in high school and the next day his mom gave him $5 “for being such a good boy”. He never drank in high school again he felt so guilty.

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    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I’m glad haha. Hell, I’m planning on using doing the same when I have kids. It’s pretty good wisdom πŸ™‚

      Reply
  10. I live three miles away from my mom and I still miss her when we don’t talk or see each other for a while. Which, given that we live in such a tiny town you’d think we’d run into each other more often but we really don’t. Probably because neither of us is real big on leaving the house if we don’t have to.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      I hear ya. Why leave the house if you don’t have to? Only weird people do that lol. I’m jealous, I wish I lived that close to my mom πŸ™‚ Lucky.

      Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      4-5 times? That’s a lot πŸ™‚ You’re lucky ! Life gets in the way of us talking that often, I try to shoot her a text every day though lol. If that counts!

      Reply
  11. Anonymous

    My mom taught lessons with embarrassment also. Hunting me down through our neighborhood in curlers, a bathrobe, face cream, carrying a toothbrush screaming my name…full name…in her best over-exaggerated Icelandic accent. She passed away 8 years ago this July and I miss my mom every day.

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      She sounds great. Embarrassment is the best way to teach lol. I can’t wait to have kids so I can do the same. Also, I’m sorry for your loss. :/

      Reply
  12. Funny post! Did your mother act crazy on purpose to embarrass you, or did you only notice that she was acting crazy when it embarrassed you? In other words, did she always blare Baby Got Back and wear pajamas in public?

    Reply
    1. Blair (The Shameful Sheep) Author

      No, she did it on purpose. Dear lord, I don’t know how I would of made it through my younger years if she was like that everyday lol

      Reply

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