that’s not weird or anything

Over Christmas, I stood in the middle of a dirty and crowded Wal-Mart aisle for twenty minutes considering whether or not to buy a toy moped that matched the cat-like Monster High dolls my 9-year-old niece has. I mean, this thing was pretty damn awesome – you could decorate it with stickers, the black ‘paint’ was super shiny with zebra stripes, and I knew her dolls would look really awesome zooming around on it in their cute dresses and their perfectly high-lighted hair flying behind them. She’d love it. No doubt. I knew this would make her Christmas. Until Alex pointed out that it wasn’t what she asked for.


I honestly felt a little bit disappointed. I looked forward to her opening it, then asking me to play with her. Then, I realized there’s a 98% chance I’m teetering on the brink of insanity because I thought it was so cool I considered buying the damn dolls and their matching moped for myself.  Nobody would know, right? Alex wouldn’t tell my secret. A 29-year-old married woman starting her own Monster High collection… that’s not too weird or anything. (Except…it is 100% weird as hell and someone should have busted into that Wal-Mart and bitch slapped me across  the face two times. Once for thinking of buying it. Twice for going into Wal-Mart in the first place.)

The truth is – I don’t think I’ll ever grow up. I still zip my high-heel boots up over my hidden Batman socks. I prefer seeing an animated family movie over any other genre.  Feeding the ducks and making a stuffed animal at Build-A-Bear seems like a great afternoon. A game of Clue and hot chocolate tops off the perfect night. I don’t know how I ended up so weird.

Which leads me to a… Fun Fact: People with awkward and weird personalities tend to make the best friends. 

So… anyone want to come play a rousing game of Clue with me while Finding Nemo plays in the background? Bonus – I even have some peppermint hot chocolate leftover from Christmas to share.


  1. It’s even better for me. I’m a 66 yo grandpa, so I get to buy toys for my young grandkids, and then get down on the floor and play with them. You know how Grandparents are, they often don’t get what the kids want, they get what they would like to play with. I am anyway.

  2. I used camo action figures to create our Christmas card one year and one lady accused me of playing with dolls. I had to tell her twice, “They’re ACTION FIGURES, damn it!”

    Go for it. I think they’re pretty damned cute.

          1. Obviously. Only kidding. I have a knack of putting all the wrong things together in an outfit and yet somehow, they come out looking almost better that way. I am a fish mash of whatever is the least fashionable.

  3. Oh my gosh. Can we be friends in real life and not just the Blogosphere?!

    You are a fantastic human being. Although I might vote for playing Settlers of Catan while the animated Anastasia plays in the background! 😉

  4. Awesome! Finally, someone who will appreciate my PEZ collection! And (turns red and hides face), I recently bought my gingerbread man a Superman T-shirt at Build-a-Bear. Is that weird? Thanks for visiting The Embiggens Project!!

  5. Secretly, I like to play with matches… What really burns people up, is that I don’t see anything wrong with it. Once when I was 6 years old on acid, I tried to touch a camp stove flame because I thought it looked like a flower. After that, I thought it best to go ahead and take the acid… I think the mopeds are way cool! Just take diet pills… They’ll be a perfect fit in no time :O)

      1. Oh I’m way too old for that stuff now! I’ve down-graded to Herion. LOL! Truth be known, I’m somewhat of a health freak! People throw veggies at me for punishment :O( Then when they leave, I make a salad :O)

  6. I love weird! Weird is an absolute blast.
    When I go into Hot Topic (and I do whether my kids are with me or not), I’ll find something I like, but I inevitably have to stop and ask myself whether I can really pull it off or if it’ll just make me look goofy, like I’m trying too hard. I get a kick out of the sales girls because they approach me with a bit of caution and ask if they can help me in a way that says, “Are you looking for something for your kids? Or are you one of THOSE guys?”

  7. So – wait, you didn’t buy it? Hell, I haven’t grown up and I’m 46.
    When my son was little I’d color the menus they give out at restaurants because he wasn’t interested – now they have Coloring Books for Adults, but those don’t interest me.

  8. Thank God for “grown up” coloring books. Now I can color and pretend to still be mature 😛 Although I may be giving the game away with my oft-stated goal to topple my son’s record of totally kicking my behind in Stratego (he got it for Christmas). I will destroy his battlefield!!!!

  9. Weird and awkward is only a problem to the normal and boring. While monster high doesn’t do much for me. If it takes away the world and balances the mind and spirit, wrap the zebra stripes on that bad boy (or bad girl)!

  10. Never actually heard of monster high before! But I’ve not been in the US since 20011 so it makes sense that I’m behind.
    Now, if it was a Harley and not a moped, I’d have been tempted! Or maybe a Vespa, those have cool-factor.
    Hubby bought me FOUR board games for Christmas. We’ve played one – Train Conductor. It’s hard to find games for just two people!
    None of the rest sounds odd at all. I wear New Rock boots and spongebob hair ties. Meh!

  11. I read & write fiction for teens, watch stuff like Marvel: Agents of Shield, talk to my pets & random animals (like the little spider in the shower this morning) and yet I’m mid-40s & work as a receptionist where apparently I’m meant to be an adult ;
    It all depends on your perspective I guess – I think overly-serious people are seriously weird, myself!

  12. At 78 one of my favorite things is to play “Loopin Louie” or now the updated version, “Loopin Chewy” with the younger grandchildren. They really get into it because I scream and groan and cheer and hiss while playing it. I confess that I do enjoy a good game of poker with the older grandchildren…..taught a 13 year old granddaughter how to play one Christmas Eve.
    Viva la weirdness!

  13. Seriously, Get what you want, Girlfriend and don’t be ashamed. You only live once. Plus, yours talking to someone who bought a gigantic Darth Vader that talks from Walmart before Christmas, and just recently an expensive Fake Sheep. Pleased to meet you, new friend.

  14. Thanks for stopping by the Swamp. I’ll come play Clue; The Squire has relatives in the Asheville area. I really enjoy board games and jigsaw puzzles. The hot chocolate sounds good, but do you mind if I leave out the peppermint? I’ll even bring my American Girls, and we can play dress up.

    Once you hit fifty, nobody can make you grow up – and I am waaay past that.


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: